Kelly Clarkson's recent anthem history tells us that she could be wearing a team shirt.

Hello there, and welcome to my favorite regular yearly post.

Yes, I am a diagnosed and certified chronic prop bettor during the Super Bowl, which is the one time of the season I bet on the outcome of events in a football game that are only loosely and absurdly connected to the actual game. Each year the prop bets available online and elsewhere reach new, comical levels. They’re often recycled in creative ways, and this year following Christina Aguilera’s infamous anthem gaffe there’s an increased emphasis on the proper wording of the Star Spangled Banner.

It’s still over a week until kickoff, so the insanity is only just beginning. I took a trip around the Interwebs to gauge the depths of the wagering ridiculousness so far, and many of the props listed below came from mainstream sites like Bodog.ca and SportsInteraction.com, while others are from more obscure and dusty corners.

They’re broken up into several categories to better serve your degenerate needs.

Musical madness

  • What will Kelly Clarkson be wearing while singing the national anthem? (options: Colts jersey, Patriots jersey, Giants jersey, official Super Bowl shirt, anything else)
  • Will she forget or omit one word in the anthem? (yes pays +250)
  • Will her bare belly be showing? (yes pays +300)
  • Will Madonna’s hair be anything but blonde? (blonde is -400, anything else is +250)
  • Will she be wearing fishnet stockings at any point during her performance? (yes and no are even at -120)
  • Will she start her show using a microphone, or a headset? (headset is -200, mic is +150)
  • Will she be wearing an NFL jersey at any point? (yes pays +250, no pays -400)

Sightings and name drops

  • Who will be shown on camera first by NBC once the game has started, Abby Manning or Giselle Bundchen? (Abby paying 1.77 on SportsInteraction to Giselle’s 1.91)
  • How many times will Giselle be shown overall? (over/under: 0.5)
  • How many times will Peyton Manning be shown on camera? (over/under: 3.5)
  • Who will be shown first, Archie or Peyton? (Peyton pays -140, Archie is even)
  • How many times will Jim Irsay be mentioned? (over/under: 1)
  • How many times will David Tyree’s catch in 2008 be shown during the game? (over/under: 1)
  • How many times will Robert Kraft be shown? (over/under: 3.5)
  • How many times will Andrew Luck be mentioned? (over/under: 1)
  • If Tom Brady’s son is shown, will he be wearing a Brady jersey? (yes is -200, no is -150)
  • Will Al Michaels say “Tebow”? (no favored at -160)

Viewership

  • What will the final Nielson rating be for this year’s game? (over/under: 47.5)
  • How many average viewers will there be? (over/under: 117 million)
  • Which market will have the higher rating between New York and Boston? (New York favored by seven)

General oddness

  • What will happen to the Dow Jones the day after the Super Bowl?
  • Who will the MVP thank first? Teammates (2/1)? Family (7/1)? God (7/2)? Owner (7/2)? Coach (12/1)?
  • Will Michaels say the word “miracle” at any point during the broadcast? (yes pays +800)
  • If/when the game-winning coach receives a Gatorade bath, will it take place before regulation time ends? (no slightly favored at -125)
  • How many planes will be in the flyover during the national anthem? Note: the game is indoors, meaning any flyover at all seems frivolous and ridiculous, so there will probably be a flyover (between one and four is -260, and five or more pays +180)

Comments (4)

  1. Most of these bets are easily manipulated. For example, Clarkson could make a mint by intentionally “forgetting” the words, Al Michels could slip “Tebow” in the broadcast after making a bet on himself, etc. I’m not so sure about the wisdom of betting on things that can be so easily manipulated.

    • Michaels is always dropping gambling references, so I wouldn’t put that past him. And there’s no wisdom in any of this, especially Madonna’s fishnet stockings. There’s no wisdom in those ever.

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