It's Day 5 of the offseason, and we're already leading posts with toilet pictures.

  • Sports fans who move from the couch once every lunar eclipse may not be athletes, but they have at least one elite skill: the ability to postpone their bodily functions almost indefinitely until an opportunity to empty themselves arises. After the elation began to wear off a little bit Sunday following the Giants’ Super Bowl win, New Yorkers quickly fled to the washroom when they remembered there was other important business at hand. Water usage in the city spiked 13 percent, and within minutes the water level at a reservoir in Yonkers dropped two inches. Victory never felt so good.
  • Losing the Super Bowl was clearly a terrible experience for Bill Belichick. But after Gene Wojciechowski’s description of the coach’s solemn and depressed demeanor yesterday at Spyglass Hill, it sounds like his first round at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am wasn’t much better. Maybe he should go dancing with Gronk.
  • Belichick may not have enjoyed his round much, or maybe his no-fun face was just the normal Belichick face. Either way, he was definitely very Belichickian with his time, being efficient over the 18 holes and making sure that he did some draft homework by getting inside information on Alabama prospects from Nick Saban, who was one of his playing partners.
  • Today in untrue statements: Victor Cruz told ProFootballTalk that he wouldn’t have been dancing and partying had the Giants lost.
  • The Wall Street Journal’s Jason Gay wrote one of the few columns defending Gisele Bundchen, and while doing so he observed an obvious point that’s being overlooked, likely because it’s so painfully cheesy. She really, really loves Tom Brady, meaning that in this case the high school fairy tale of the beautiful girl falling for the quarterback is very true. Is that what we’re all so mad about?
  • Speaking of marital bliss, there’s going to be a Boston sports wedding that couldn’t possibly be more Boston-y.
  • There are two Pro Day workouts happening on March 22 that you’ll probably want to keep an eye on.
  • The Steelers freed up $11.7 million by restructuring the contracts of linebackers LaMarr Woodley and Lawrence Timmons.
  • Todd Haley was formally introduced as the Steelers’ new offensive coordinator in a press conference yesterday, and Ben Roethlisberger said that with youth at the offensive skill positions (especially wide receiver) he hopes Haley doesn’t entirely scrap Pittsburgh’s current scheme and restart the learning process.
  • Now that Bruce Arians is fading in Pittsburgh’s rear-view mirror, we’re starting to hear some stories about his relationship with Roethlisberger. The quarterback and his former offensive coordinator had a strong connection, but water bottles still flew around the film room every now and then.
  • This past weekend Bengals linebacker Rey Maualuga was at a Cincinnati bar and was told that it’s closing time, and that he doesn’t have to go home, but he can’t stay there. He then responded by getting up, walking three or four steps, and punching the bartender in the face.

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