There’s no football for seven months. You’re mad, lost, and scared. You assume that NFL players do things to prepare for the season. Things like run, lift weights, and eat apples. Like your kindergarten scrapbook that’s filled with sand and stick men, our Offseason Scrapbook will track the travels and trials of NFL players through their social media rantings during this time of freedom.
Today is Cleveland Browns day here at GLS, because we can, and because we care. Or something.
Earlier we touched on more serious Browns matters between Romeo Crennel’s idiocy, and D’Qwell Jackson’s new riches. And now we bring you the second edition of our Offseason Scrapbook, highlighted by the amazing artistic work of cornerback Joe Haden.
Much like Brent Grimes, our first Offseason Scrapbook subject, Haden has developed a bit of an Instagram hobby. But instead of providing social commentary involving sexually transmitted diseases as Grimes did, Haden uses his lens to create weird works of distortion while at aquariums.
This piece of avant-guard work was tweeted under the caption “No legs!”…
He’s also been innovative and practical with his taste in fashion since the season ended.
Flava Flav rocked the clock necklace, and others have rolled with the clock hat. Haden is taking swift measures against thieves with this shirt by minimizing pick-pocketing opportunities, and he’s also guarding against inebriated wallet fumbling.
But there’s more to Haden than his skills as a pioneer in the fashion industry and an artist who specializes in body manipulation. Like any man, he has a rough side, and to get in touch with that masculine energy he likes to hang out around really, really massive trucks that crush tiny cars.
Haden had six interceptions last year, and as a result his side of the field wasn’t the target of many throws in 2011. So he knows how to capitalize on a prime opportunity, and his execution was in fine form at the Cleveland Sports Awards.
It’s late February, but it’s still February, and with six months to go until the regular season Haden has already stood beside Grave Digger and Erin Andrews.
On my holidays I go to the zoo.