Before the Internet and Twitter, children argued with each other through name calling.

The Internet has now advanced all forms of modern communication, and children still argue through name calling, especially children named Amani Toomer and Jeremy Shockey. They can do it publicly, amusing us at our confined cubicles during another work day, and acting as our jesters.

So please, entertain us, Toomer and Shockey.

In this morning’s links post I passed along Toomer’s first salvo across Shockey’s ample bow, a comment generated by the tight end’s reported interest in re-joining the Giants. The retired receiver vehemently objected to idea of Shockey coming back to Gotham, saying that he’s a “bad teammate and a worse person.”

Turns out Shockey doesn’t enjoy being called a terrible person.

Shockey’s also aware of Toomer’s odd urination habits, or something.

That was in response to this.

Like any sane-minded person, Toomer immediately denied using urine as a weapon to solve domestic battles. He used horrible spelling while doing it too, so we know that he was really mad and doing some serious keyboard pounding.

In the end, in addition to amusing us, Shockey arrived at a philosophical conclusion.