Tim Tebow has created a bit of a problem for New York bars, and the city’s many night spots where young men go to lubricate themselves with alcohol and grope women who are equally–and often much more–lubricated themselves.
Public inebriation is a true pastime and rite of passage into adulthood. You haven’t really lived until you’ve either fallen down three sets of stairs in one night, or held a human head while the liquid consumed that evening is recycled.
But for those New York hot spots looking to capitalize on Tebow’s celebrity and draw him to their fine establishment for a night of drinking and flirting, the mission is tricky, and perhaps impossible. The principle problem is that Tebow doesn’t drink, and he refuses to allow a devil lady to take him home early. So a bar or club has to produce a product that allows him to skirt around both of those seemingly impossible obstacles.
The solution? The “No Sex On The Beach” drink.
From Fox Sports:
New York bar owners said they would be happy to accommodate Tebow’s strong faith — as long as it gets him in the door.
Murray Hill sports bar Brother Jimmy’s has created a “No Sex on the Beach” drink for Tebow, a virgin version of the traditional “Sex on the Beach.”
At Jay-Z’s 40/40 Club in Midtown, workers said they would have sparkling cider on hand for Tebow.
Others were plotting to lure him away from his frequent charity work in favor of the Big Apple’s club scene.
Ahh yes, we knew this day would come. The evil New York forces already see little profit in Tebow’s charity work, and they’re attempting to lure him with promises of no sex, and no alcohol.
Thanks, Larry Brown Sports