Confession: I watch and sometimes mildly enjoy Storage Wars. Although the urge to violently throw objects is difficult to resist when Dave Hester speaks and says anything (anything at all), it’s sheer intrigue that keeps me engaged, with the ridiculousness of the odd objects they find in abandoned storage lockers surpassed only by the market for such oddball items.

The item below needs to be buried deep in a storage container where it will never be found again, saving us from its mystic powers that can control the human mind. There are satanic forces hidden deep within the Brett Favre leg lamp, forces that can’t be explained, and can only be experienced.

That’s downright haunting, yet it’s a real thing that’s of some value. Unearthed by the Sportress of Blogitude, it seems this illuminating device that’s a replica of a human leg is desirable to the fine denizens who frequent the “Blu Dot Swap,” an Interweb hot spot for such things because 45 people have given Favre’s leg the thumbs up and indicated that it’s “swap worthy.”

It gets better. Here’s the sales pitch:

This beautiful 45-inch full size leg lamp has the authentic look of the hall-of-fame Brett Favre. This leg lamp has a sleek attractive curve and design right down to his rib side insert pants. It also show cases a custom painted lamp shade, and one black athletic shoe. This homemade lamp is sure to be the center piece of any front room window at Blu Dot. The lampshade does light up, this “Fragile” item will not be shipped in a large wooden crate:-)

If this is the center piece of any room in your home, the level of female interaction is likely depressingly low.

This is also the first time any part of Favre’s body has been deemed “sleek.” Surely there isn’t an exact replica lamp of Favre’s cell phone pictures, right?

RIGHT?