Here at GLS we always like to educate the public. We consider it our civic duty, and yesterday we all learned that New York is a fine place to lose your virginity, a business that could be highly profitable for female fornicators who can produce valid proof of a night in their love-making lair with Tim Tebow.

It seems that there may be plenty of women in New York who enjoy the intimate companionship of muscular, soon-to-be rich athletes, and there’s specifically one who wants to nurture and comfort the tortured soul who becomes Mr. Irrelevant, the final pick of the draft.

This kind, gentle woman is deeply attracted to the pain of public humiliation, which is why she always keeps a cold jar of human tears in her fridge. So go forth, you victim of draft depression, and find this anonymous woman. Let her take you on a ride to Crazytown.

Thanks, Guyism

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