At this point in his existence, Terrell Owens is a bad habit. It’s true, Terrell, we can’t quit you.

I’m not sure why any self-respecting person would ever watch Dr. Phil, but maybe you’re home sick from work today, and there’s nothing else on in the afternoon. You’ll find yourself channel surfing around 4 p.m. ET, and you’ll see T.O. on a stage with three angry women, and one bald man who talks in comforting, gentle overtones. And you’ll watch, because you can’t not watch.

Today Owens will make his latest shark jump on Dr. Phil, and he’ll face the scorn of three women who, among other things, claim that he’s been missing child support payments, and that he’s generally a horrible father and a worse person. Are you not entertained?

A press release promoting the show provided the main premise for our protagonist.

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

According to a press release from CBS, Owens said most of the $80 million he made in the NFL was squandered or poorly invested. He also said he can’t see his children because of his travel schedule and the fact that the children live in different cities.

While today’s Dr. Phil appearance is another blatant attention grab and an attempt to stay relevant, the error we often make when expressing our annoyance with Owens is an attempt to separate the on-field Owens from the other guy. Owens by nature is flamboyant and charismatic, but away from the field he’s far more shameless, and therefore far more intolerable.

It’s impossible to make that separation. Owens’ stubbornness and inability to quit football is forever tied to his need to stay relevant in pop culture. He’s appears on Dr. Phil’s stage and buys a stake in an IFL team because he’s petrified of the football afterlife, and lacks any coping mechanism whatsoever to deal with merely being normal.

And now you want to know the rest of the story…

  • Sure, it’s wonderful that the Minnesota House of Representatives passed the Vikings stadium bill, but the amendment that puts Zygi Wilf on the hook for $105 million more isn’t workable, according to a team spokesman. However, said spokesman didn’t flatly shoot down the increased team contribution to the project, so we’re saying there’s a chance. The stadium bill has to clear the senate, and could be officially passed by the end of the week. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]
  • If denying stuff is cool, then consider the Saints Miles Davis. Yesterday Anthony Hargrove’s declaration surfaced, and it stated that defensive coordinator Gregg Williams and assistant coach Joe Vitt told him to hide the team’s bounty program and “play dumb.” Vitt then said something about the fact that he said nothing. [NFL.com]
  • If you were ever employed by Josh McDaniels in Denver, you should probably freshen up that résumé, and ensure that your coffee-making skills are superior when compared to all other low-level employees. Brian Xanders was one of the last remaining McDaniels employees, and the now former Broncos general manager was fired last night. The ship’s all yours now, captain Elway. [Denver Post]
  • Matt Light officially retired during a ceremony yesterday, and afterwards he revealed that in 2004 he was fighting for his life during an intense battle with Crohn’s disease. [Mike Reiss]
  • The Titans seem to enjoy drafting wrestlers. Next up, the Undertaker. [Shutdown Corner]
  • Sorry, Andrew Luck, you can’t use Jim Irsay’s luxurious private jet that has a stereo system equipped to spit out random song lyrics, just like his Twitter account. [Indianapolis Star]
  • C’mon, Chris Carter, you should know better than to swear around Mike Greenberg. He’s only eight. [Michael David Smith on Twitter]
  • A Detroit columnist details his battle with depression. [Chris McCosky]
  • The Bengals are reportedly interested in acquiring the services of Braylon Edwards, and he actually kind of makes sense for them. [Waiting for Next Year]
  • Eli Manning’s teammates greeted him yesterday with a barrage of bananas. [New York Post]
  • I’m a little late to this, but Coby Fleener wrote a story on Peter King, and it’s pretty good. [Peninsula Press]

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