Rob Gronkowski likely hasn’t experienced the standard conversation of normal courtship too often. Usually ladies see his Zubaz pants, his scooter, and his really long tongue, and the deal is sealed.

But now he’ll be wooed, and he won’t even be able to see his potential love interest.

Yes, friends, after the creation of a Battleship movie and Rihanna’s repeated crotch slapping on Saturday Night Live, it seemed our culture had given up on original and creative pieces of entertainment. Gronk’s involvement in a new game show doesn’t do anything to dispell that notion, but we’ll watch, because NFL players who are interacting with girls can say the darndest things.

Along with Ndamukong Suh and Warren Sapp, the Gronkest Gronk of all the Gronks is one of the bachelors involved in a new game show/dating show/retina-burning addition to primetime television. It’s called “The Choice,” and it has a similar format to “The Voice,” just with much less Christina Aguilera.

From Entertainment Weekly:

In each episode, four celebrities sit in spinning chairs and listen to non-famous prospective dates pitch themselves. Over the course of three rounds, the contestant pool is paired down until each celebrity has chosen their date for the evening.

The show will start on June 7, and it’ll be six episodes long, five of which will feature men as the single celebrity targets. Gronk, Suh, and Sapp will be alongside other notable people that pop culture has decided to acknowledge and love like Pauly D, Rob Kardashian, and Dean Cain.

But what would an aspiring young woman have to do to convince Gronkowski that she’s worthy of a romantic evening? We have several suggestions:

  • Breathe
  • Speak English
  • Possess motor skills
  • Demonstrate proper seeing and hearing
  • Hate Rodney Harrison

Thanks again for insulting society, America.

Pic via NESN

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