HBO should start rolling out more blogs. Any blog will suffice, on anything…anything at all. They could write about sea turtles, or perhaps the future of oil on our planet.
Their executives could make anything marketable and interesting. They know how to use the forever wandering eye of the male wilderbeast against him, and with their selection of this year’s team to be featured in Hard Knocks, they’ve shown that they understand a core principle of blogging.
Hot girl = hot clicks. It’s shameless, but here on the Internet pride became extinct long ago. Now we just oogle player’s wives, and we’ll get a chance to do more of that this summer in high definition.
HBO finally announced the team that will be featured on their annual infiltration of an NFL training camp. It’ll be the Dolphins, a team low on offensive talent, but high on entertainment value. Toss in a rookie quarterback who was selected eighth overall (about 25 picks too soon) and his hot wife, and the standard Hard Knocks formula for success is complete.
There’s been some griping on the Twitter, with dissenters saying that the Dolphins are losers, and therefore aren’t deserving of our attention. But winners are boring (see: Belichick, Bill), which is also why it was a blessing in disguise that Atlanta turned down HBO. After the Jets decided against a repeat performance because they’re doing just fine creating their own distractions, the Dolphins were the next logical choice in the search for entertainment value.
Beyond the storyline of Ryan Tannehill and his wife who draws hundreds of clicks with the mere mention of her name (LAUREN TANNEHILL, LAUREN TANNEHILL, LAUREN TANNEHILL), there’s also Joe Philbin. The rookie head coach failed to persuade Matt Flynn to follow him from Green Bay to Miami, and now he has to mold Tannehill into a franchise quarterback for a team that hasn’t had one of those since Dan Marino. No pressure, Joe.
Then there’s the utter lack of receivers for Tannehill whenever he plays a meaningful snap of football following the departure of Brandon Marshall. And there’s Stephen Ross, the classic meddling owner who’s intelligence entirely evaporates whenever he’s within 500 miles of a football field.
The pieces are in place to turn the Dolphins around, but this is still very much a rebuild in progress. While the stench from last offseason’s mess when Ross whiffed on Jim Harbaugh has subsided somewhat, it’s still permeating a bit in South Beach after a similarly crushing whiff on Peyton Manning.
As watchers of television, we’re attracted to either simple comedic value, or the struggling protagonist, and the Dolphins should offer plenty of both. They also have LAUREN TANNEHILL, who will eagerly boost her modeling career by playing the 2012 version of Kelli Croyle. And we’ll eagerly watch.
(LAUREN TANNEHILL LAUREN TANNEHILL)