Osi Umenyiora wanted to get paid, and paid what he’s worth. Now he’s received that paycheck, but we just don’t know what dollar value is on it yet. Damn you, Internet, I want answers (#firstworldproblems).

After several seasons of generally being pissed off about the figure in his bank account (Umenyiora was slated to earn $3.975 million next year in the final season of a seven-year contract) the defensive end who had nine sacks during the regular season last year despite only appearing in nine games has agreed to a restructured deal.

Again, the terms haven’t been announced yet, and I may or may not update this post once that information surfaces depending on my location during this soggy Friday evening at the GLS worldwide headquarters, where subway stations are flooding nearby, and darkness is descending on the Earth. But for now what’s important to note is that this seems like a short-term payment to make Umenyiora smile and, well, play football, and it’s not an extension.

The purpose is to get him into the Giants’ OTAs, and to make his 2012 contract value appropriately higher than Justin Tuck’s, his fellow defensive end who was recently given a five-year extension, and is now due to make $3.2 million in 2012.

Umenyiora is indeed quite happy. I’m not sure how he managed to talk while swimming through those gold coins, but he did.

“I’m just happy, I’m happy all that’s over with. It’s time to get back to work. It was definitely frustrating (not being on the field this spring), but hearing some of the things they said, whether it was Kiwi or (Justin) Tuck or JPP or Antrel (Rolle) – hearing the way they supported me, it made me want to come back even more and be around them. Those guys really stepped up for me. I really appreciate it and I’m happy to be here with them.”

And finally we have a happy way to end our week. But if I’ve learned anything in my blogging years, it’s that nothing ends a week better than a red panda fighting a pumpkin. Nothing.