Needing money can make otherwise decent people do awful things. Trust me, I know. I once stood on a street corner for months and…waited for a bus to take me to work at a mushroom farm.
But when you’re famous for talking loudly, laughing at nothing in particular, and saying sentences that are only partially coherent, other opportunities tend to drift in your direction. That’s why Warren Sapp was able to skip the street corner gigs and go straight to the court room.
That’s right, children of the Internet who will actually subject themselves to the lowest form of broadcasted entertainment. As we learned back in early May, Sapp’s quest to earn a meaningful(?) income and put money into his bank account after he filed for bankruptcy has led him to a fake Interweb courtroom, where he’ll be paid to make rulings that mean nothing in a courtroom that means even less.
A promo video has surfaced for his show that was taped in front of an audience paid $50 to sit and look amused. It’ll be aired as a web series on NOC Network’s Youtube channel, which seems like an appropriate place to stash a slow rolling, mangled car accident.
Sapp’s a real man of justice. He pumps his own gas on his way into his courtroom, and when he arrives he discusses ding dings and plus-sized girls in the shadow of Jesus.
Thanks, Awful Announcing