He hath spoken, and we remain confused, which seems to be a common feeling with every NFL storyline here in what should be the doggiest dog days in the league’s doggiest dog month.

After a day in which he hijacked the attention of the league and distracted me from my regular Wednesday afternoon routine of coloring in a Cowboys cheerleader, Percy Harvin took to the Twitter last night to explain very little, and say something we won’t believe, at least not fully.

To the Internet mobile…

We can only assume and hope that “cch” is a hieroglyphic language that abbreviates “coach” and is a reference to Harvin’s head coach Leslie Frazier, not CCH Pounder, who’s perhaps better known as Dr. Hollis Miller from the 1997 blockbuster Face Off (but probably not).

The part that you’ll either not believe, or believe only partly is his deflection about money. That’s simply because money plays a role in nearly every dispute with a prominent player, and Harvin has outplayed his rookie contract that will pay him only $915,000 in 2012. His paycheck may not be the primary hurdle in these hairy issues he keeps cryptically referencing, and it may even be far in the background. But those Benjamins are lurking somewhere, and he’d like more of them, even if both Harvin and numerous team sources are disputing that notion.

Money has to be a factor, and we assume this mostly because if Harvin is serious about sitting out and not attending training camp until he’s traded–and his behavior over the past 48 or so hours sure seems to indicate that he’s a man of action–then it’s difficult to imagine an issue that could possibly be bothering him so deeply that he’d be willing to lose money (the Vikings can fine him for every day he’s not in camp), and tarnish his reputation throughout the league.

Since his discontent was first voiced two days ago, we’ve speculated about several likely problems, the most prominent being the inexplicable and a little baffling lack of playing time that Harvin received in the Vikings’ offense last year. But we outlined those problems under the still safe assumption that Harvin’s contract was also one of his issues. If he’s just bitching about playing time, that seems petty, selfish, and it harkens back to a time when Keyshawn Johnson just wanted the damn ball, and diva wide receivers saw little beyond the numbers in boxscores.

Besides, the playing time point appears to be a moot one anyway, as offensive coordinator Bill Musgrave has repeatedly said that he highly anticipates more footballs going in Harvin’s direction this year. He’s said that publicly, so we can only assume he’s said it to Harvin too.

But assuming anything during this NFL offseason is becoming a pretty foolish idea.

And now the links part of the links post…

  • Yes, the Vikings hold all of the leverage over Harvin. But as I wrote yesterday, if he feels like being a complete dick he can regain some of that in a real hurry once training camp starts. [Bob Sansevere]
  • Don’t worry everyone, Harvin isn’t the only player pissed about his contract, if he’s pissed about his contract. The July 16 deadline to sign franchise tenders is creeping closer, and there’s still a long list of key names waiting to get paid. [Alex Marvez]
  • Bringing a perfect end to a story that reminded us what it’s like to be a young, innocent sports fan whose sould hasn’t been shattered by the reality of this world yet, Brandon Jacobs visited the six-year-old in New York who offered him $3.36 to stay with the Giants, and he paid him back with interest. [Matt Barrows]
  • Recent advances in medical technology have educated the public on Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, the degenerative brain disease that’s plagued former players like Dave Duerson, who committed suicide. And that’s great, but CTE can only be discovered when you’re dead, which is sort of a little late. That might change soon. [Deadspin]
  • If the Steelers fail in 2011 it’ll be because they blow a tire, or something. [Behind the Steel Curtain]
  • Today in redundant lessons: quarterbacks (in this case, Matt Ryan) still get far too much blame for losses, and far too much credit for wins. [The Falcoholic]
  • The Eagles officially signed safety O.J. Atogwe yesterday, adding more veteran depth to what was a weak position in 2011. [Jeff McLane]
  • Chad Ochocinco tried to kill himself through repeated masturbation last night. A noble death indeed. [Ocho on Twitter]