We hope our American friends are enjoying the celebration of their nation’s birthday, and your holiday that’s conveniently inserted directly in the middle of a work week on a Wednesday. Surely you’re celebrating by eating lots of hot dogs, and watching professional hot dog eaters eat lots of hot dogs.

(Quick aside: I once had a student job that required me to work 12-hour shifts. That is not unique or special, but it was at a mushroom farm, which is a little unique and special, or so I’m told. Hot dogs were sold in the break room, and we had three breaks per day. At the morning break I would get one hot dog, and then for lunch I would have two more. Over the course of working there for three years, I once calculated that I ate over 600 hot dogs)

(Quicker aside: I no longer eat hot dogs)

Parades are being held from sea to shining sea today, but in Boston we hope that gleeful parade watchers in their various states of star spangled dress and undress used some caution this morning when the confetti cannons came out. You see, those cannons weren’t firing confetti at all. They were showering an entire city with their tears.

Freedom never felt so insulting.