Training camp is still a week away, and meaningful football is seven weeks out. You’re excited, but you’re still mad, lost, and scared. You need football back in your life. You assume that NFL players do things to prepare for the season. Things like run, lift weights, and eat apples. Like your kindergarten scrapbook that’s filled with sand and stick men, our Offseason Scrapbook tracks the travels and trials of NFL players through their social media rantings during this time of freedom.
Training camps in the NFL are approaching fast, so we don’t have that many offseason scrapbooks left, and the ones we do have left will inevitably be about “grinding” or being in “beast mode”. Apparently “beast mode” is the only mode one can be in when it’s grind time. Today we look at the offseason of Carolina Panthers defensive end Greg Hardy.
If you’re a regular GLS reader, you already know about a few of the things Hardy has been up to this summer. If not, feast your eyes on this tweet where he channels his inner James Dean.
Someone could argue that Hardy wasn’t even behind the wheel, and that he may have just been taking a picture of someone else’s attempt at breaking the sound barrier. But in an earlier tweet, he makes it known that he’s the fastest driver in the world.
But Hardy isn’t just about speed; he’s also quite the Casanova. He knows that life isn’t about fast cars, friends, or even burlap sacks emblazoned with dollar signs full of cash. Life is about hanging with your special lady, in the rain, while grooving to Akon.
Hardy isn’t a two trick (driving fast and romancin’ ladies) pony. The dude has at least seven or eight tricks, one of which involves busting the maddest of rhymes over the phattest of beats. Hardy has followed in the footsteps of professional athletes like Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant and Allen Iverson, and he’s started a rap career.
It’s been a busy offseason for Hardy. He’s gone to watch an Orioles game, took in the Spider-Man reboot, crushed a meal or two, drove incredibly fast while tweeting, and started his systematic takeover of the music industry. Just reading all that has made me tired, so I’m gonna go take a nap and I’ll let Mr. Hardy play us out…