Don't believe what you hear. He's also a lover.

Right now we know that Tim Tebow likely won’t be the Jets’ starting quarterback in Week 1. No, Mark Sanchez will get the opportunity to throw at least one incompletion before Tebow takes over.

But beyond that, it’s easier to answer what Tebow won’t be for the Jets, instead of what he will be.

We already know that he’s a running back who pretends to be a quarterback on occasion. We were fine with that because he entertained us, and made us act irrational and impulsive while trying to declare that he’s the winningest winner to have ever won at winning.

But then we heard that Tebow could be a red-zone quarterback for the Jets this season, which will also provide endless entertainment due to the likelihood that it’ll be a colossal mess. That news came long after Tebow was doing drills as a punt protector during OTAs, with the logic there presumably being that he’s a large man, and large men are good at impeding the forward progress of other large men.

OK sure, why not. Tebow will also sell hot dogs at home games, single-handedly shovel the stadium parking lot in the winter, mail the team’s Christmas cards, polish footballs, and ensure that all the caps are placed properly on the whiteboard markers in meeting rooms. Hey, he’s single (unless some lucky lass cashed out), so he has plenty of time.

That’s still not enough, though, and earlier today we learned of two more possible special teams duties for Tebow on both sides of the kickoff. He could be a kick returner, and a member of the kick coverage team. He is playing all of the positions, and winning all of the games.

His usage in either scenario may be rare and limited, but the mere discussion of such a wide deployment of a player who was presumably acquired to be a backup quarterback and a wildcat gizmo is getting ridiculous. Jets special teams coordinator Mike Westhoff told the New York Daily News that Tebow could be used as an up back for kick returns during potential squib kick situations.

“If a team squibs it at you or pops it at you, he might be the perfect guy to put in that could make an adjustment. If they kick it deep, he could block. If they squib it or pop it, he could be guy that we’d have with a ball in his hands.… Jerricho Cotchery did a nice job for us in that role. Brad Smith, before he became they guy, did some of that for us. So, it’s just a situational thing.”

Then Westoff’s special teams assistant Ben Kotwica floated the idea of kick coverage for Tebow.

“I think there might be some value there on kickoff returns. It’s something that we’ve talked about. I don’t think there’s any option with Tim that we’ve taken off the table. So, that would be something that would be new to him as well. In what we’ve asked him to do as the personal protector (right now), he’s done an excellent job.”

“When he’s in coverage, he’ll be looking to tackle the returner. And from what I’ve seen, I’ve got a pretty high degree of confidence that he would be able to do that.”

So he can do everything all the time for everybody. He truly is an all-seeing, all-being entity, and he can morph into any form you desire.

Except a quarterback.