One of the unwritten rules of society is that you can’t come up with your own nickname. If we could, the world would be crawling with Max Powers, Handsome B. Wonderfuls, and Chilsed Von Muscularmans. Nicknames are either created organically by your friends to mock and deride you, or they’re a shortened version of the your name.

New York Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora is under the impression that Washington Redskins rookie quarterback Robert Griffin III hasn’t earned his nickname “RG3”. During an interview on WFAN, Umenyiora said that Griffin needs to prove that he’s a superstar before he can earn such a cool sounding and streamlined nickname. For now, he’s just going to call him “Bob”.

“Who is this RG3 guy you guys keep talking about? You talking about Bob Griffin? You guys are giving him a cool nickname already and everything. When he does anything in the NFL we’re gonna call him RG3. Right now he’s Bob Griffin.”

I guess I can see Umenyiora’s point. A QB should probably complete at least one pass in the NFL before he’s bestowed with a cool, abbreviated nickname. But I doubt Griffin gave himself that moniker. He was probably saddled with the nickname by a sportswriter who was trying to create the NFL equivalent of “Bennifer”, a catchy nickname that will be driven into the ground by the blogosphere. I prefer “Bob”, because Bob Griffin sounds like your kindly neighbor that you can hear cursing on the other side of the fence after he forgets to check on the BBQ and burns the burgers.

In the same interview, Umenyiora took the time to take a shot at his cross town rivals, saying he knew the New York Jets would get “beat-down” last year after all of the trash-talking they had done during the pre-season.

“I just knew the Jets were gonna get a beat-down after all that trash talking they were doing. I think Rex has pretty much learned his lesson about that. I like the way he coaches, I think he’s a wonderful coach but you really don’t want to be poking a bear with a short stick like that.”

Training camp hasn’t even started and Osi is already tossing grenades.

At least he’s not taking out full page ads predicting Super Bowl glory. This is the kind of gamesmanship I can get behind.  I can also get behind the nickname “Bob”. Solid nickname.

He looks like a "Bob"