At first I thought this was surely meant to be a direct message sent by Falcons cornerback Asante Samuel to, um, someone. Anyone who treats Twitter like cocaine has made that mistake once or twice due to a mind that’s been numbed from hours staring at a computer screen, and fumbling fingers.

But amazingly, Samuel still hasn’t deleted it, and it’s sitting quite randomly on his timeline, where the last tweet that wasn’t an RT or some kind of blatant promo whoring job came early yesterday morning when he asked the world what its plans were for the day. How nice.

He doesn’t offer an explanation for exactly what kind of thickness he’d like to touch far more often. The Internetz can answer every question that’s ever faced humanity, and thanks to the thickness hashtag that’s now going strong and has been helped by a Samuel retweet (wait, what?), we now have our answer…

umm thanks, Drew Fairservice