We’re all fully aware that preseason games are meaningless, or at least the numbers on the scoreboard are. We watch firstly because we’ve gone far too long without football in our lives, and secondly because positional battles provide something to analyze and scrutinize, and any excuse to do that is a gift from the heavens above.

But tonight’s preseason games will take place under a much, much brighter spotlight with Peyton Manning making his debut for the Broncos, and Robert Griffin III doing the same for the Redskins. That’s all the motivation Reverend Redskin needed to wake up his D.C. neighbors in the early morning hours with his sun god worshiping.

By way of Hogs Haven, here’s the first sermon in GLS history…