Despite being a marginal NFL quarterback, Tim Tebow is ubiquitous. The man can’t take a shirtless jaunt in the rain or show up on a piece of singed toast without someone being there to report on it. Can Tebowmania get any bigger? Well apparently it can.
Tebowmania can inspire laws.
South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley signed the Equal Access to Interscholastic Activities Act, also known as the “Tim Tebow law,” on Monday in Lexington, S.C., according to WHNS-TV in Greenville. The law allows home-schooled students to participate in public schools’ extracurricular activities.
Tebow was home-schooled but starred at Allen D. Nease High School in Ponte Vedra, Fla. thanks to a 1996 state law that allows home-schooled students to take advantage of the public high school’s athletic programs. He transferred into the school after playing linebacker for one year at Jacksonville’s Trinity Christian Academy.
Tebow has joined such luminaries as Sonny Bono and Charles Lindbergh as individuals who have had laws informally named after them (although in Lindbergh’s case it was primarily named for his baby), and South Carolina has become the 30th state to pass a law allowing home-schooled kids to enjoy public school extra curricular activities.
This whole situation got me thinking: this shouldn’t end with Tebow. What other laws should be named after NFL players?
The Chad Johnson Law
This law forces the recently unemployed to find work in the pornographic film industry. It is a well know fact that once you can no longer work in your current vocation, you’re only other option is to star in porn. This law ensures that there will always be food on your family’s table.
The Jabar Gaffney Law
This law prohibits the use of social media pending a psychological evaluation. When a person is deemed psychologically stable, they are then subject to a six-month probationary period where their tweets and Facebook posts are closely monitored by lawyers and publicists.
The Vinny Curry Law
Quite simply, this law prohibits the usage of urine as a performance enhancing drug.
The 1972 Dolphins Law
This law states that, after an impressive feat, there is a 15-year window in which you can boast about it. After 15 years, you are prohibited from discussing said feat because, quite frankly, everyone is sick of hearing about it.
The L.T. Law
When approaching a lady of the evening, you are legally required to ask to see at least two pieces of I.D. to make sure she is of legal age before a transaction can be made.
Now the ball is in your court, you need to write (do people even write letters anymore?) your local congressman to see if we can get these laws passed through legislation. If that seems like too much work for you, maybe you can just suggest your own NFL related laws in the comments.