I went through a brief phase early in high school when I thought owning and wearing shirts that say stupid things was cool, clever, and more awesome than anything I could possibly do in my life.
There was the proverbial “Student Crossing” shirt, and at the time I didn’t know it would come in handy for safety purposes a few years later. There was also the “I’m not as think as you drunk I am” shirt. Instant classic.
But the real gem of the collection was a shirt that depicted Pikachu at the height of the popularity of those magical little gremlin-like Pokemon creatures, and he was smoking an illegal substance of some kind that made his eyes turn red. Woah boy, I was the funniest kid to ever eat lunch alone.
There were others who dabbled in the art of stupid shirt humor, of course, and those who wore such immature attire at a time when immaturity is very much expected knew that there was risk involved. Teachers didn’t appreciate or understand such original and novel comedy as the creative Pikachu artistic rendering, and they then took the shirt away and forced you to wear a community sweater for the day that doubles as a microscopic village where head lice make babies. Dirty T-shirt wearers are rebels, man.
There’s a Colorado school district in which proudly wearing a No. 18 Peyton Manning jersey isn’t a show of support for the Broncos in the days before a new era begins amid the excitement over a new season, and Manning’s regular season Denver debut. Nope, it’s associated with violence because, you know, gangs.
Seriously, this is happening. There’s a Colorado school board that’s banned Manning’s jersey from their sacred school halls in which young minds will be warped by a devil number.
You see, it’s not Manning who’s the threat. It’s his number, because just seeing that number will make children want to burn things.
Oh please, tell us more, WCVB.com:
As Broncos fans in Denver, Colorado celebrate what they expect will be a big season from new quarterback Peyton Manning, some students in one suburban school district are upset over an anti-gang policy that prohibits them from wearing Manning’s No. 18 jersey.
“They told me I couldn’t wear 18 anymore because it’s a gang number and I had to take it off,” Konnor Vanatta told FOX affiliate KDVR on Tuesday.
A spokesperson for Weld County District 6, located in Greeley, Colorado explained the policy has been around for more than three years and applies to the numbers 13, 14, 18, 31, 41 and 81. “We are Broncos fans ourselves; it has nothing to do with that. We’re just wanting to set a consistent solid, example,” said district spokesperson Roger Fiedler.
Welp, at least they don’t discriminate against only the number 18. Sorry, Joel Dressen, Brandon Stokley, Tyler Grisham, and Omar Bolden fans, your Broncos apparel is also illegal.
Pic via WCVB.com