"Honey, did you remember to bring the pigeon towel?"

We have a deal with the pigeons. They get out of the way of our cars, and we look the other way when they defecate on statues.

But dammit, we draw the line on in-stadium defecation, especially when the pigeons assemble in vicious poop spreading hoards and attempt to drive away all human life. Welcome to Denver, where fans in one section of Sports Authority Field at Mile High have resorted to wearing towels on their heads as a sort of homemade pigeon crap umbrella.

No, seriously. This is happening.

The crap bombing is taking place in section 306, and it’s not exactly a recent development either.

From the Denver Post:

Broncos fans who paid big money for their seats say pigeons living overhead are doing their business right into the crowd, and it’s been going on for years.

Fans in section 306 say the birds have nested in the rafters of the overhang at the club level, and nothing has been done about their complaints.

Allison Harden and her husband Jeff say they were guests of a season ticket holder at Sunday night’s game. Allison says before the first snap, she had already been hit with pigeon droppings.

It may be a little late, but I believe we’ve finally found our metaphor for the entire Tim Tebow era in Denver. Crap was delivered to the people, and it was tolerated in the name of winning football.

George Costanza versus the pigeons by joeyguse

Pic via the Denver Post