December 26, 2004.

It was a different world back then. The Malice at the Palace had captured the hearts and minds of a nation. George W. Bush was settling into his second term in the Oval Office. The city of Boston basked in the glow of their first World Series win since 1918.

All of those things listed above were terrible, but that year maintains a special place in my heart. After starting the year 0-4, the Bills went on a miraculous run that saw them win six consecutive games. Drew Bledsoe had fought off the calls for promising rookie JP Losman – shudders – to start and led Buffalo to the brink of the playoffs. Of course they would go on to lose a must win game at home against a Pittsburgh team that was fielding a collection of third stringers including starting quarterback Brian St. Pierre. But that’s a story for a different day. A cold, alcohol infused day.

December 26th, 2004 was the last time the Bills beat the 49ers in San Francisco. It was the last time the Bills won on the West coast. Chan Gailey & Co. think the team will be better off by staying in the area through the next week before their game in Arizona. Unfortunately, Chan wasn’t on a cocktail of hard drugs when he said this – he actually believed it.

This team is broken.

The defense has become the punchline for every awful ‘comedian’ on twitter. “Alabama would beat the Bills, hahahaha!” This is the type of shit that drives me insane, but it’s deserved. Last week the Patriots set a collection of offensive records that left the majority of Bills fans saying at least this can’t happen again. Seven days later it did. Alex Smith threw three passes for more than 30 yards in the first half. He hadn’t thrown one the entire season. The Bills are the first team to allow over 550 yards in consecutive weeks since 1950. Dave Wannstedt will not rush more than four. He’s incapable of it. The Bills secondary was left in flames. My lasting memory of this game will be George Wilson staring into the backfield as Vernon Davis ran past him and eventually caught a 58 yard heave from Smith.

Ryan Fitzpatrick continues to be terrible. Not just below average but unabashedly terrible. Chris Culliver’s interception in the third quarter might have been the worst Fitzpatrick throw I have ever seen – which is saying something because the guy is fucking terrible. At this point I’d rather see the Bills run the wildcat for the entire game. Though it’s horribly ineffective – the 49ers seem to do it pretty well – at least we will be spared the ghastly sight of Fitz attempting to throw the ball.

It’s not that bad. At the start of the season I hoped we would be bad enough to actually get better – ie. draft a quarterback. The past two weeks indicate we’re not that far off. This is a terrible team. Bad enough that it gives me hope for the future. If that sounds insane then you must’ve forgotten I’m a fan of the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Comments (5)

  1. The Bills will suck enough this year to draft a QB who will lead the team to the promised land. Unfortunately Ralph will pass and this QB will be leading the LA Bills to said promised land. It’s really hard being a Bills fan.

    • The Bills have sucked for a very long time. Long enough to span the entire careers or some NFL players. In that time they’ve had plenty of opportunity for draft picks. What makes you think this year will be any different?

  2. Too angry and depressed to add to what you wrote, other than I am still flabbergasted that Wanny has apparently forgotten how to coach defense. He literally appears to be afraid to blitz… as if it could get any worse for him.

  3. The Bills will never change under the current ownership, because Ralph Wilson wants his coaches and management to do exactly what he tells them. The last truly successful coach this team had who wanted to do things his own way was Chuck Knox, which Wilson wouldn’t tolerate. As for Marv Levy? He merely rode Bill Polian’s genius as long as he could…being the introduction of the salary cap. The current role call of shame for the past 12 years is exactly what Wilson wants.

  4. I think you’ve captured the appropriate amount of despair that Bills fans are feeling right now. Seriously, is there any franchise in the history of time in the NFL that’s harder to cheer for than the Bills?

    Mario is also looking kike another overpaid FA bust…let’s hope they can motivate him somehow. Earn your money dude! 1.5 sacks really?

    I hate it when you know the season is over 5 games in…same old Bills. /cry.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *