Well that was quite the shit show.
It was a game for the masochists. A three way competition for most terrible Quarterback resulted in a tie – they were all awful. The Bills defense actually generated a pass rush. Unfortunately this came with a mandate that forced the linebackers to vacate the middle of the field. Until he was knocked out of the game Kevin Kolb was the white Michael Vick for four quarters. Both the scrambles and ensuing injury was Vickian. Well done good sir.
We won. All four teams in the AFC East are 3-3. Some how the Bills are tied for first. The Patriots are a good team but they won’t run away with the division. I see the race being decided in the final week of the season when the Bills host the Jets – that would be fun.
Of course that is insane talk from a guy high on the rarest of substances – Bills fan post game euphoria, comes in pill form. The Bills are a first place team on paper only. Years of let downs have made me unable to hope and/or dream. This is a game won only against the Arizona’s of the league, who are in short supply. Yes the Bills pass rush was consistent, but that had a lot to do with the shambolic state of the Cardinals offensive line. If Obama hater/asshat gloves wearer Jay Feely hits that chip shot at the end of regulation we’re at 2-4 and perhaps (read: no way) Russ Brandon tells Ralph it’s time to fire our horrible head coach.
There were five moments in this game that will be remembered for their batshit absurdity. All five moments involve 4Chan doing what he does best – ruining my life.
1. The Brad Smith wildcat pass. What in the fuck? The Bills are driving down the field with just over three minutes remaining. C.J Spiller and Fred Jackson are taking turns gashing a tired Cardinals defense and then you do that? First of all our shit ass starting QB should be making that throw if anything. Second of all – why? Kill the clock, win the game. You know, like everyone else. Insane.
2. Icing Feely. Generally I hate icing the kicker. Possibly because I still remember Nick Folk ripping out my heart and eating it in our last appearance on Monday Night Football. The guy is lining up for a 61 yard FG. Not an easy task – and one that requires some time to think out. How low can I kick this etc. Of course he hit it. What makes this more hilarious is that Gailey didn’t ice Feely before his potential game winning chip shot. What a world.
3. USE YOUR TIMEOUTS. The Cardinals are deep in Buffalo territory and killing time before Feely’s kick. It was at this point Gailey threw up the proverbial white flag and let them milk the clock. You can’t take your timeouts home with you Chan. Man.
4. The play calling in overtime (and the majority of the game) was brutal. First, the one time Buffalo would do well to defer and they take the ball. Second, it says a lot about your faith – or lack thereof – in Ryan Fitzpatrick when you refuse to call a play that requires a pass longer than 10 yards.
5. Ryan Fitzpatrick. He can’t keep playing. I know the options behind him are thoroughly underwhelming, but for the love of all that is good – I can’t watch Fitz short hop another five yard out. I can’t. I’m sorry.
In spite of themselves the Bills won. Jairus Byrd showed flashes of his rookie self with two huge interceptions and outstanding play throughout the game. Watching Stephon Gilmore hold his own against Larry Fitzgerald was a treat. Give C.J Spiller the damn ball. He needs more touches. Mario Williams had his best game in a Bills uniform. Chris Kelsay still exists. Stevie Johnson runs the prettiest routes in the NFL – imagine what he could do with a real QB. The blue pants are wonderful.
There were positives, but the poison remains. Gailey and Fitz are tied at the hip. Time to kill said hip with fire.