You’ll have to excuse me if the pep is lacking a little this morning. You see, usually my excuse for such sluggishness in the pre-coffee hours of a Monday morning is the 14 or so hours I spend watching football and football-related television content on a Sunday. I know, this is a pretty tough gig.
But on this particular morning, there’s a far more damaging tale of woe that’s crushing my soul.
I have three fantasy teams, even though I probably could have had at least 12. And in two of those matchups this weekend, my opponent had Aaron Rodgers. Yes, it seems I have been struck down by the mighty hand of our fantasy overlords. So please, indulge me for just a moment as I partake in some therapeutic self-cleansing and briefly share my story.
I don’t do this kind of thing often (see: ever) because generally I think people care so very intensely about their fantasy teams, and so very little about any other fantasy team. But today is a rare exception due to Rodgers’ rare brilliance, and there are many, many matchups that were either won or lost as he threw for all of the touchdowns. I invite you to share your own story in the comments below, and perhaps someday soon if this whole blogging deal takes a nose dive I’ll start a fantasy counseling service of some kind.
Scoring formats vary, of course, and my first blood smearing took place in a league that awards six points for a passing touchdown instead of the standard four. That’s always a massive difference in total output by a quarterback, and on this day it was the difference between 24 points for the six touchdowns Rodgers threw during Green Bay’s blowout win over Houston if we use standard scoring, and 36 points. And that’s just his touchdowns.
Toss in his 338 passing yards (a season high) on 9.1 per attempt (also a season high), and using the six points per TD scoring format Rodgers had 51 points in that league, and I was ahead by 50 prior to the Sunday night game. Surely when your cushion is halfway to 100, you’re free to pop bottles of something, right? Yeah, no. Now I’m ahead by one point, hoping that Malcom Floyd gets less than that tonight. But oh, it gets worse.
In a league with standard scoring (four points for a passing TD), I was ahead by, well, the exact amount of points Rodgers produced. That would be 38 points, and for a reason that still escapes my knowledge, this league doesn’t have fractional scoring. You see where this is going.
I tied. A straight up, 99-99 tie. Sisters were kissed, objects were broken, and confusion won the day.
And now the links part of the links post…
- Dez Bryant doesn’t care what you think. [Dallas Morning News]
- We wrote at length (twice) about Shonn Greene’s production yesterday, warning you to not be drawn in by the bright lights, and to steer clear of trading for the Jets running back this week because that’s just crazy talk. So back away now, even though he was the first Jets player with 160 rushing yards and three TDs in one game. [Jon Buccigross on Twitter]
- Richard Sherman is awesome. [Gregg Rosenthal]
- To those who were scared by Joe Haden’s presence yesterday, A.J. Green had 135 receiving yards and two touchdowns that said you’re concern was unwarranted. [Roto Arcade]
- All the injury depression you need on a Monday morning. [Rotoworld]
- The future and Michael Vick: enemies forever. [PFT]