We have urgent, breaking news to report on a developing story (*does cannonball into a pool of ice, returns filled with shame*). Terrell Suggs is saying there’s a chance he could play Sunday. Also, there’s a chance he might not play Sunday.

In the annals of grand mission statements, words have never been abused so thoroughly. I consider myself a man of economy in terms of the amount of energy I spend doing anything, anything at all. Example: I generally choose my attire every morning by picking out the items that have the least amoount of buttons (#bloglife). So when I see the effort of speaking wasted so willingly with nothing accomplished, I feel deep pain.

Thankfully, Suggs included other useful remarks while speaking to the media, attempting to squash Adam Schefter’s report that he’s aiming to play on Sunday by saying that nothing has changed, and he’s still day-to-day. So sure, maybe Sunday is a day when he’s feeling chipper and able to play, and maybe it isn’t. We just don’t know, and neither does he.

Suggs does however know that his family won’t be in Houston Sunday as Schefter also reported, and he would kindly appreciate it if you ask him first in the future when you have queries about such matters.

I’m glad we’ve heard the last of this then. Now, can someone please tell me if there’s any chance Tim Tebow will start at quarterback for the Jets?