The formula is pretty simple. Take a bunch of related, easily-Googled images, and string them together for the length of a song. Then you have a video montage, and if nothing else, we know time goes faster in a montage.
They’re everywhere on the Internetz, ruining perfectly good pictures and pairing them with appropriately horrendous songs. But today, on a day when Brady Quinn seriously, really became relevant in the NFL again and was named the Chiefs starter to replace Matt Cassell, we need a warrior anthem.
Thankfully, some hero out there made this.
They’re out to get you, better leave while you can
Don’t wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
So beat it, just beat it
You have to show them that you’re really not scared
You’re playin’ with your life, this ain’t no truth or dare
They’ll kick you, then they beat you,
Then they’ll tell you it’s fair
So beat it, but you wanna be bad
What a man, what a legend.
If the Jags thought they could just cripple their running back to get Geno Smith or Matt Barkley, they had no idea what kind of suck they were up against. Now Chiefs fans will get the quarterback they want, and also likely the quarterback they deserve, while you just hold on and hope that Quinn doesn’t decimate the fantasy production of Dwayne Bowe, and possibly even Jamaal Charles.
While there’s the very real possibility that defenses will put eight men in the box far more regularly to stop Charles now that the threat of a pass is about to completely evaporate, the sheer volume of carries that Charles could get should balance out the increased opposing bodies he’s running against. Then again, the presence of said bodies could crush Charles, but whatever, because Kansas City seems to give very few shits about that.
Bowe is the far greater concern here. Quinn completed 57.9 percent of his passes two weeks ago when he replaced the concussed Cassel prior to the Chiefs’ bye. There was no movement whatsoever downfield, with Quinn averaging 4.7 yards per pass attempt while finishing with just 180 yards overall, throwing two picks.
Bowe had only 25 receiving yards during that loss to the Bucs, with Quinn’s ability to suck undeterred by the fact he was throwing against the league’s 31st-ranked secondary. You’ll say that Cassel wasn’t much better, and he was replacement level at best. And you’re right from the perspective of reality, and if you’re speaking on behalf of Chiefs fans everywhere who just want hope, that’s all. Cassel had 14 turnovers over his five starts, so even if Quinn is worse, it was simply time to try something.
But for fantasy purposes, the Bowe-Cassel connection was fine, thanks. Even though the Chiefs lost three games by at least two touchdowns during his starts, Bowe caught 31 passes from Cassel and had two 100-yard receiving games while averaging a respectable 71.2 yards per game.
Quinn counters with a much scarier average: in his career over 13 starts, he’s averaging only 162.6 passing yards per game.