I understand and fully endorse your continued hatred of Shonn Greene. His 161-yard, three touchdown outburst was such a massive outlier that it occurred on the same day that I met a leprechaun. Don’t be fooled by that fraud on the Lucky Charms boxes. Those little green dudes are mean, and they’ve inspired many a douchebag tattoo.

And sure, Greene showed some burst on a few runs last week against the Patriots, and he looked particularly powerful on his touchdown run, with that score alone sort of justifying the decision to start him for those who did. But after his journey that ended with the discovery of a pot of gold two weeks ago, Greene reverted to his plodding, ineffective ways. His longest carry of the day last week was only eight yards, and overall he finished with 54 yards on 16 carries. The arithmetic on that ends in a very mediocre 3.4 yards per carry, which is right on par for a running back who’s averaging 3.5 for the year, even after his Week 6 outburst against a poor Colts run defense.

Taking that further, Week 6 was the only game when Greene’s per carry average climbed above 3.5. He’s been awful, he’s still awful, and under normal conditions today against the league’s third-ranked Dolphins rushing defense that’s allowed only three rushing scores and is giving up ojust 78.2 yards per game, more awfulness would be forthcoming, and your decision Re: Greene would be easy. Bench him, and perhaps burn pictures of him too if you’d really like to take this whole fake team thing way too far.

But normal circumstances are about to get blown away today in East Rutherford, and I mean that quite literally.

There’s a storm a brewin’, one that’s led to┬áthe “Frankenstorm” nickname, an amateur newscaster’s wet dream. Consider it this week’s Spritz Nipper.

With Hurricane Sandy set to wreck its havoc later this week, the effects will be felt today in several NFL outposts along the east coast, most notably Philadelphia and New York, where the Eagles-Falcons and Jets-Dolphins are playing respectively. It’s the latter matchup that concerns us, because that’s where Greene’s at first tricky roster decision has been made a little easier thanks to Sandy.

Rain is forecasted throughout the afternoon in East Rutherford, and it’ll intensify right around kickoff time at 1 p.m. ET, according to the Weather Channel. But that’s actually a secondary concern for both offenses in this game, because rain alone doesn’t kill passing games.

No, wind does that, and gusts today are expected to hover around 20 mph, possibly reaching 25. Mark Sanchez would struggle to throw a ball straight in a bunker buried 200-feet below the earth’s surface, so you see where this is headed. More Greene, and then even a little more Greene.

That woeful per carry average will likely remain disgusting against this Dolphins front seven with Greene’s continued plodding and puttering. But the sheer volume of carries he’s likely to receive in these conditions will make up for the lack of burst on any one, single touch. At minimum, that likely increased workload due to the vengeful hand of mother nature elevates Greene to a very appealing flex option, especially during yet another tough week for running back byes, with Arian Foster, Ray Rice, Fred Jackson, and C.J. Spiller sitting out.