UPDATE: Charles returned for the Chiefs’ final series before halftime. May your racing heart resume its normal pace.

There isn’t any uplifting news on Bowe, though, as he’s officially done for the day. At least those who flexed him still received solid production from that spot, as he finished with 70 yards on just two catches.

It’s far too early to start doing anything drastic and jabbing sharp objects into areas of your body where such an action will cause great pain. But what’s happening with Jamaal Charles right now is the kind of creative evil only the fantasy gods could imagine.

Charles is part of an early juggernaut day for the running back position in this afternoon’s games, as he had 103 rushing yards in one quarter while Adrian Peterson had 104, putting both on pace for +400 yards overall, and they also combined for three touchdowns (Charles’ came on an 80-yard run). Toss in Alfred Morris’ 68 yards in the first quarter of Washington’s game against Baltimore with a touchdown, and the three had 48 fantasy points. Pants have been soiled throughout America.

But then the aforementioned fantasy overlords had their way with Charles. He exited early in the second quarter with an apparent shoulder injury, and he was seen with a group of trainers huddled around him on the Chiefs’ sideline. As I write this, Charles is on the bench and unable to participate in the Chiefs’ most recent drive. Annnd now you’ve soiled your second pair of pants today, only this time it’s sorrow urine. The worst.

Indeed, the severity is still unknown, and we can only hope that by the time I finish writing this sentence, Charles returns. Yes, it’s quite remarkable that even if he sits out for the rest of the afternoon Charles has already put together a fine fantasy day, with 16 points in just one quarter. But for those who still lose this week despite that stellar production and end their fantasy season, it’ll be maddening to wonder what he left on the field during a potential record-setting day.

Dwayne Bowe also left with a rib injury after he was seen pulling a Donovan McNabb and projectile vomiting on the field. My condolences go out to those who possibly wasted a flex spot on him, as he’s now questionable to return.