So many tears. Matthew Stafford lives off the nourishment of your tears. They are his oxygen, and his reason for existence.
If you deprive the demon of its essential life source, it will wither and die. It’s too late now, though. Far too late.
Matthew Stafford is your late-game dream crusher
Where art thou, Matthew Stafford? The list of fantasy-season murdering performances from studs or former studs today is a lengthy one, and it began earlier this afternoon with Eli Manning. Now Stafford was really, really excited to join that list of really good yet really awful quarterbacks.
You’ll recall Stafford as the guy who passed for over 5,000 yards last year while also chucking 41 touchdowns to just 16 interceptions, an impressive ratio. You also know him as the quarterback who’s now thrown only 17 touchdowns this year through 14 games, none of which came today during the Lions’ loss to Arizona. And most importantly, you know him as the guy you wasted a second-round pick on, and he now cost you a trip to your fantasy championship.
Say, it’s not obvious that I’m a Stafford owner, right? Sigh.
Stafford threw three picks today. The one thing we’ve been able to say about Stafford this year during his season of consistent pick throwing is that at least they haven’t come in bunches, as prior to today he had logged only two multiple-pick games. Welp, that ended with a resounding thud.
What makes today’s outcome worse is that often Stafford can compensate for his INTs with his high volume of throwing that in turn leads to significant chunk yardage. That was simply absent tonight, as he finished with only 246 yards, his lowest total since Week 2, and it was a steep departure from his 308.2-yard per game average. The end result was three fantasy points, 15 points lower than his weekly average.
Starting with Robert Griffin III’s injury, we’ll remember this as the week the quarterbacks conspired against us. Never forget, guys. Never forget.
Russell Wilson showed Buffalo what a young, promising quarterback looks like
I know I refer to the ownership levels in ESPN leagues often. We can debate the level of skill and knowledge among the average ESPN fantasy player if you’d like, but here’s an undeniable fact: a shit ton of people go to ESPN for their fantasy football needs, which is why I use it often as a gauge for the current trends and the thinking of the average manager.
So having said that, here’s a frightening observation. Russell Wilson is unowned in 73.6 percent of ESPN leagues. Not a typo.
Seriously, that’s real, and surely during championship week Wilson’s ownership will climb dramatically once waiver claims are processed early Wednesday morning. We can only hope, because who the hell wouldn’t want a quarterback who’s thrown 11 touchdown passes and just one interception over his last six games?
Wilson scrambled nine times today, and three of them resulted in touchdowns. Overall he had a season high 92 rushing yards, showcasing another valuable dimension that contributed to his 39 fantasy points today. It’s the fourth time this year he’s eclipsed the 20-point mark.
While his ownership should still rise universally (he’s also owned in only 35 percent of Yahoo leagues) since at the very least he’s an option that should be stashed on benches for consideration, his matchup next week couldn’t get much worse. Them Niners gonna hurt you, kid.
Where you at, Danario Alexander?
We should have known.
We should have known that eventually the stench of the Chargers would catch up to Danario Alexander, but we were all quite understandably blinded by his shining light that brightened the dark hell of the San Diego offense. We saw the riches of his frequent targets (21 over the last two weeks), and lo, we were amazed.
But we neglected to remember that he does indeed play for the Chargers, and their inept offense in every way imaginable. Eventually we would be reminded of that, which happened today during a game in which Philip Rivers was absolutely swarmed by the Panthers’ front seven. The result was zero catches, zero yards, and zero fantasy points. He was targeted only three times, a number that has been in the double digits three times over the past four weeks.
It won’t get much better next week either, as Alexander will be faced with Antonio Cromartie and the Jets’ secondary. He’ll fall to flex fodder.
Let’s take a shot for our fallen homie, and remember the good times.
Also among the missing: Jamaal Charles
Concluding our journey through elite disappointments during a week when losing meant returning to the realities of life in mid-December (“honey, you bought surfer barbie, and little Jane wanted pretentious medical professional barbie! I HATE YOU”) is Jamaal Charles.
Or maybe we should put Romeo Crennel here instead. Yes, that seems much more fair, because there’s no logical explanation for why the Chiefs’ best and only offensive playmaker only touched the ball 12 times during a 9-0 game at halftime, and a game that didn’t feature a single touchdown. Yep, Team Janikowski won this one 5-0 (really 15-0, but yeah).
But even with Crennel’s incomprehensible stupidity, Charles was still the suckiest of all the sucky sucks. He had only 10 rushing yards on nine carries. That’s depressing enough before we consider that one of those carries went for five yards, meaning his net gain on the other nine carries was four yards. The worst.