Hey, does anyone know how to tap into someone’s cell phone? Asking for a friend. Following the Fiesta Bowl Thursday the Chip Kelly sweepstakes will begin in earnest, and we need every advantage we can get. Prepare to be nauseated.

For us fantasy folk, Kelly’s potential NFL employment and where he lands is arguably the most important jigsaw piece to monitor during coach carousel season. Where he fits among the seven head coach vacancies could determine the value and usage of key offensive elements, and it’ll influence the already slim chance that Michael Vick stays in Philadelphia.

Or maybe it won’t, because right now not even Chip Kelly knows if Chip Kelly’s offense will work in the NFL, and of all the recent rockstar college coaches to make the jump (Greg Schiano, Jim Harbaugh) he’s the least qualified. Whatevs, we’ll take our chances in the fake football game, and right now the leading potential destinations are Philadelphia, Cleveland, and Buffalo.

While Kelly is predictably keeping his lips sealed tightly, USA Today’s Mike Garafolo is reporting that he already has interviews with those three teams lined up. All the interviews will take place in the Phoenix area, where Kelly’s Oregon Ducks are currently stationed. Mary Kay Cabot from the Cleveland Plain Dealer is reporting that the Browns will be first on Friday.

Kelly also is reportedly willing to be flexible with the team that has the pleasure of paying him a large sum of money to be a leader of men, as Ian Rapoport reported that he won’t require full and complete control of football operations. That’s quite kind since he has no NFL experience whatsoever.

For fantasy purposes we’d still prefer Philly of the three options immediately available in Kelly’s interview process, but the Eagles only have a slight edge over Buffalo. That’s because LeSean McCoy and C.J. Spiller are the ideal Kelly running backs, and they could stand to benefit greatly from his innovative offensive mind, even if he doesn’t bring his full playbook to the NFL.

Actually no, let’s call that a dead heat. A Spiller-Kelly connection would take us to Pleasuretown every week, over and over.

Oh look, the most glorious rainbow EVER…