Despite his brilliance and the fact that he’s led an offense to within a win of a championship in only his 10th start, there are still legitimate long-term questions about Colin Kaepernick. Can he stay healthy? Can the pistol and/or read option offense lead to sustained success? Grand questions with no immediate answers, the same grandeur which greets every QB who can even remotely run.
But one question has already been answered definitively: Colin Kaepernick is not a CEO. Tats are for the boys in San Quentin, and for losers, because quarterbacks are supposed to be pristine canvases of virtue.
Now Kaepertat.com has relegated David Whiteley to various bathing stations, where he continually washes the grease of this horrible world from his body.
Yes, that’s a real thing now. In yet another example that the Internet will provide all living souls with anything they desire, there’s a website where you can purchase fake replicas of Kaep’s ink.
Produced using the finest Photoshop wizardry, the project is led by Bret Nichol and his clan of 49ers fans. He explained how Kaepertats came into existence in a Q&A with the Fifth Down Blog:
We were having so much fun Kaepernicking at the breakfast table that it became clear that others would love the idea of KaeperTat too. I looked around the table, and quickly realized the four of us each had very different skills to actually turn this crazy idea into a reality. My sister is a landscape architect and Photoshop whiz, so she did the artwork. My sister’s boyfriend is a tech entrepreneur, so he set up the Web site. My wife is in sales, so she wrote all the marketing and blog posts (she’s quite witty, in my biased opinion). And I work in consumer products, so I sourced the tattoos. We had the Web site up and running before dinner on Saturday, taking about six hours in all.
Ahhh, good clean ink fun which will further legitimize another BLANKing thing that won’t die. It’s only a matter of time before real Kaepernick tats are walking the fine streets of San Francisco (watch out for that homeless guy in the bushes). Whitley will then begin to shrivel and decay. Sort of like this…