It’s nearly here. Super Bowl XLVII isn’t devoid of storylines. Brothers, Ray Lewis, and Joe Flacco’s coronation are plots worth following this weekend. While living in the past is not recommended, we’d be remiss to not mention the Super Bowl’s that have laid the groundwork for tomorrow’s spectacle. Forget the games, we want collectibles. The following could be yours if the price is right.

 

Current Price: $22.45

Buy worthy: No. A.J Hawk’s menacing mug doesn’t deserve this homage.

 

Current Price: $10.50

Buy worthy: This is a steal. Bills zubaz from Super Bowl XXV is priceless. It’s a snap back as well. Scott Norwood could rock this.

Current Price: $1.99

Buy worthy: If you want to watch the Super Bowl alone, then yes. You should buy this. Ever wonder what Dan Marino considers the ideal finger food? This Super Bowl XXXVII Kraft Food, Sunday Paper Insert will answer all your questions.

Current Price: $29.99

Buy worthy: It’s a trash can commemorating Joe Namath and the Jets. I don’t know. Do you really need a 30 dollar garbage can from the 1970s? The picture indicates there may be trash in said can right now. Only four days left to bid. Don’t miss out.

Current Price: $3.25

Buy worthy: Vince Wilfork’s penmanship leaves a lot to be desired. How do we know that some minion from the underbelly of the Patriots support staff wasn’t behind this signature? We don’t. Stay away.

Current Price: $20.00

Buy worthy: Ebay could create a highly profitable second site featuring unopened beverages. Imagine what that bottle of Coke would taste like 30 years after it was sold. Good god.

Current Price: $9.99

Buy worthy: Maybe if you’re related to Les Grobstein. Otherwise there is absolutely no reason why anyone would buy this. There are no bids on Les’ press pass, restoring my faith in humanity.

 

Current Price: $14.58

Buy worthy: Look. The Super Bowl itself is a tribute to excess–nobody really needs that much Bud Light. The above is a ticket from Super Bowl XXV encased in 22 karat gold. If your hobby involves collecting things encased in solid gold this is for you. I also have the names and numbers of several medical professionals I’d like you to contact. Seek help.