Yesterday when a report that we might have to endure a Super Bowl next year sans halftime show circulated, we all became scared, cold, and deeply concerned. What are we going to make jokes about on Twitter? What will parents complain about the next day after they let their children watch a performance that they fully knew would be bootylicious? And how will we wager on cleavage?!?
It would be anarchy. Thankfully, that report was gunned down by the NFL later in the day. But one question still remains: which act is best suited to persevere through the possibly barely below zero conditions to entertain and please us?
We have a few Canadian solutions, eh.
Although the official 100 Yards and Running headquarters are in a swanky (see: generic) Toronto office where the blinds are closed the majority of the day to shield all bloggers from the sun’s harmful rays, we hardly mention our Canadian roots around here. That’s not intentional, it’s just…well, it just is. It’s mostly an irrelevant fact, as there are intelligent and passionate NFL fans — and writers — living in many corners of this country. However, right now my hoser heritage is of the utmost importance, because the land of the inflatable beaver has a solution to what may ail the New York Super Bowl halftime show. In fact, several solutions.
You see, here in these northern parts there’s this other organized football league, appropriately called the Canadian Football League. Every year the Grey Cup game is held in mid November, a time when the icy clamp of winter has descended upon most of this here northern nation. Yet despite those severe conditions that lead to epidemics of runny noses and rosy faces, we soldier on with a halftime show, even when the game is held in an outdoor setting.
Sure, it lacks much of the gyration and lasers and nipples that the American equivalent proudly flaunts every year. But dammit, if you can’t get on your feet for Blue Rodeo, you have no soul.
That crowd is ALIVE!
But if you really want to crank the awesome knob to 12 and then rip that sucker right off, you’ll book the Tragically Hip.
Kingston represent! For the real kaboom, bring in the legends who braved a cold Calgary night. Ladies and gentlemen, The Guess Who.