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First off, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for providing you with this mental image at lunch time, or if you’re on the west coast, as you get to work in the morning. I’m still very much dealing with some post-Super Bowl depression, so in the early days of the offseason before we truly do a bounding cannonball into the Combine, and free agency evaluation, and the draft, you may notice some increased lunacy around these parts. Consider it sanity through insanity.

Put on your shocked face, because this definitely isn’t the kind of news that’s totally predictable. Rob Gronkowski has been offered a porn role. Not just any porn role either, because this role would be with someone pretty special if he chooses to accept it (note: hahaha).

I’ll let the New York Post take it from here, because sensationalized celebrity news is pretty much the only reason that esteemed publication exists:

Sex.com made the offer to match his 2014 base salary if he agreed to participate in a scene with Bibi Jones, who posted photos on Twitter with Gronkowski in 2011 and 2012.

The Post also passed along a quote from the Sex.com press release, with the website quite accurately observing that Gronk has “the attitude to be a hugely popular male adult star”. For the record, he’s due to be paid $3.75 million during the 2014 season, serious cheddar that can buy a lot of zubaz.

Sure, he’ll obviously turn this down, or maybe he won’t, and he’ll pioneer a new element that will eventually be included in all offseason training programs. Just like the bounty on Tim Tebow’s virginity, Gronkowski’s porn offer is merely a form of free advertising for this website that’s filled with pictures of naked people doing stuff, or so a friend tells me (I have a lot of friends who look at such things, evidently).

But maybe one day when he least expects it Sex.com will get Gronk after he agrees to deliver a pizza to an unsuspecting “fan”.