The Cowboys bus — not to be confused with Tim Lincecum’s bus — is steeped in some pretty deep folklore, man. NFL.com’s Gregg Rosenthal has bounced around to a few Super Bowls and Scouting Combines where Jerry Jones’ shag wagon that’s dripping with bling frequents, and he’s heard the mythical tales. Stuff happens in there, but only those who have gained access past the ivory gates can speak of the pleasure which awaits inside.

Now there’s a new bus worth somewhere between $1.5 and $2.5 million, according to the Dallas Morning News (in Cowboy code, that really means about $12 million). It has nine TV screens, marble everywhere, and it surely smells of rich mahogany.