Us simple folk do wild and crazy things to denote the passage of time, and our bodies advancing one year closer to death (uplifting!). Remember that time you bought your buddy Dave that cake with boobs? So original and funny in every way imaginable.
But the one percent seeks a much grander approach. Like, say, space shoes, or something.
That’s Browns cornerback Joe Haden with his certified and edible Marty McFly shoes during his 24th birthday celebration over the weekend. One day players will actually wear these shoes, and we’ll watch astro football. Since catching your own pass will then be possible, receivers will be rendered obsolete. That’s an NFL Tim Tebow can play in, although could he even hit himself on a slant? Dream big dreams.
Oh, what’s that Stevie Johnson? You have a better idea?