Words don’t exist to describe the awesomeness that is Bacarri Rambo’s name history. But since I’m a professional, I’ll try.

As the intense research of Andrew Zuber told us last week when he listed the top 100 names set to enter the NFL draft, Rambo has one the best names out of all the 2013 rookies this side of Barkevious Mingo. It’s a damn shame too, because his name was once even more incredibly fantastic, and had it stayed in its previous form he would have given Mingo a serious run.

Sarah Kogod did the lord’s work over at the DC Sports Bog today, digging into the name history of the new Redskins safety who was selected in the sixth round. She started by discovering that his mother’s maiden name was Fudge, so he was born Bacarri Fudge.

But oh, we’re not done there. This gets so much better.

You know those people who were somehow given a nickname as a kid, and it stuck, and stuck hard? In fact, it stuck so hard that they’re introduced to you by that nickname, and often even if you’ve known this person for a while, you don’t know their real name.

You have no idea you lack that knowledge. Well, surely you do, and you know that “sly” isn’t a real name. But the nickname is so firmly embedded that it becomes common to use it to address the person. It just feels right, and normal. And cool.

As Kogod’s sleuthing revealed, Rambo had a nickname which fits that description. From an interview with The Red and Black in 2010, here’s Rambo telling the glorious tale of his hometown nickname that still stands:

“When I was an infant, my mom used to always give me cough drops, because I always used to cry. So I’d get cough drops, and I’d suck on them and my eyes, they’d say I’d look like Mr. Magoo, the cartoon character, because my eyes would get big,” Rambo said. “So I’d look like Mr. Magoo, the cartoon character, then it went from Mr. Magoo, to Magoo, then everyone started calling me ‘Goo.’”

For 18 years, he was Goo. For the last three, he’s been Bacarri.

“That’s like a hometown nickname. None of the teachers at my school called me Bacarri. Matter of fact, I’ve never ever heard my mom or my dad call me Bacarri,” Rambo said. “They probably don’t even know my first name to be honest. Everybody calls me Goo back at home.”

So until his parents legally changed his last name to match his father’s, Rambo was Goo Fudge. And when he goes home now, he’s still Goo Rambo.

He’s also my new favorite NFL player.