The NFL offseason is both a time, and a place. It’s a place where dreams can be made. Usually, football dreams, with the rah rah undrafted free agent Rudy types rising from the spring OTA ashes to their place of fall dominance. Ahhh yes, poetry.
But there are so many other dreams which are realized too. When they’re not doing things to sculpt their finely-tuned athletic machine bodies like lift weights, run, and eat apples, players have a lot of time to kill. A whole hell of a lot. That especially applies to players who are employed by teams that didn’t make the playoffs, as they haven’t played a competitive snap since early January, and as we sit here now in late May there’s still just over two months left until training camp.
That’s a chasm of space, and the mind wonders. For some, that leads to stupidity (hi, Mike Goodson). But others find the time to chase their entrepreneurial dreams with completely normal pursuits that you would associate with large football men. For example, Von Miller started a poultry farm at his Dallas area home earlier this offseason, and he also put chicken ink on his arm. That man loves his chicken.
So, how’s Plaxico Burress keeping busy? With his luxury men’s sock line, of course.
And you know what, good on you, Plax. We’re all aware of the far worse ways he could be spending his offseason. Like, say, planting a bullet in his groin. And really, what kind of ‘Merica are we dealing with if a man can’t pursue his life-long vision of charging people $24 for a pair of socks?
That’s the price you’ll pay to get in on the Plaxico Burress Collection socks, though sales happen sort of frequently (the “Maven” model is 25% off right now!). The Steelers receiver is going all in on this too, as he’s been making the media rounds to promote the brand, and he started a website and a Twitter account called “@PlaxicosSocks” which comes complete with a pretty cuddly looking sock puppet guy in the background.
Those rounds included a swanky event at a New York club last week which was covered by the New York Times. The socks will be released for retail next month, and as you can see below, they’re more than just socks. They’re a lifestyle.
Yeah, I dunno.