We pride ourselves on fine tattoo reporting around here. From Von Miller’s arm chicken to the largest and stretchiest Dolphins tat ever, we document the history of NFL ink. It takes hard work, perseverance, and the ability to click a computer mouse and use a keyboard. Advanced stuff.
But this is the first time I’m not sure if I should be frightened, or impressed. Both?
A hero in Buffalo had an enormous image of O.J. Simpson inked forever on his leg. He did this because, of course, Simpson is a local hero in his own right when he was known just as a legendary running back, and not a guy who was in the back seat of a Bronco while it was being chased by a whole lot of police cars. Oh, and then there was the armed robbery and kidnapping conviction in 2008. That too.
Yet still, the pioneer named Bryan Labarron below didn’t just think the Juice was worthy of occupying some serious skin real estate on his body. The image he chose is, well, infamous…
That’s Simpson’s 1994 mugshot, taken when he was accused of killing Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman. The detail is remarkable, and according to Sports-Kings, it took nine hours to complete.
Labarron sort of likes the Bills. We get that, but it feels like this was a drunken idea first conceived shortly before the lights went on at a local establishment, and somehow all who were present recalled it the next morning.
One day, another such moment of creative genius will lead to Desmond Bryant’s tongue-protruding mugshot covering someone’s back. When that happens, people can just stop getting tattoos. It’s over.
Thanks, Sportress of Blogitude