There was a time when I played a lot of golf. This was a time before I had a “life” and a “job”. Without those things, I was at my local golf course about 50 times every summer, and I still mostly sucked. Or if I’m fair to myself, I guess I was sort of average, but my best round was maybe an 88.
For anyone who’s ever taken golf even a little bit seriously, draining a hole-in-one leads to instant unmatched elation, and then many drinks. Estimates vary depending on how experienced the golfer in question is and how often you play, but one study placed the odds of draining a hole-in-one at 5,000 to one, and that’s for your average low-handicapper. You know, someone who doesn’t play golf professionally for a living.
Peyton Manning has recorded two, because he’s Peyton Manning.
Sam Farmer of the Los Angeles Times talked to Manning about his offseason adventures thus far, an offseason that’s been his first true offseason in a while after several that have kept him limited to rehabbing his neck, and little else. His travels have taken him to faraway lands where he threw deep balls to American soldiers, and he came back with many heartwarming tales. The things that he does just for kicks in his spare time because he’s Peyton Manning and he’s awesome have also included reminding use that his football mind is not a normal mind.
But his golf exploits show that he truly isn’t a human. He’s quite good at the game, as he shot a 77 at Augusta National. Even better, he made a hole-in-one at a Denver golf course from 166 yards out with an eight iron.
Manning’s description of the rare event? Mostly meh.
“I made one in college, but I was with some buddies,” he said. “This was the first one I’d ever seen go in. In college, we looked in the bunker, the woods, everywhere, and somebody said, ‘It’s in the hole!’ It’s a little anticlimactic.
“But the guys I was playing with this time, they were so excited. I mean, I was excited, but you’ve seen me when I throw a touchdown; I’m kind of ho-hum. These guys went nuts.”
He was with a random threesome too, as he hit the course early to get some extra hacks in before a round with John Elway.
So here’s the set up: you’re sitting there with two of your buddies, and PEYTON MANNING joins you for a few holes. Then, PEYTON MANNING hits a hole-in-one, and now you have a story to tell until the end of your days while Manning mostly shrugs, picks up his ball, and carries on with the business of beating the world at everything.