The top 43 draft eligible names

mingo2

Your defending champion.

Usually I hold off with this annual list, the best list of all the lists. But with the recently concluded Scouting Combine fresh in the rearview and Pro Days starting next week, the time felt right.

Each year 254 players are drafted into the NFL, and then many more are signed as undrafted free agents immediately afterwards. Most of them have normal(-ish) names, but so many more don’t. So very many more.

In an exercise that’s featured around these parts every year (because we do the hardcore, investigative sort of journalism) and it’s grown in popularity now with the fine work of Key and Peele, before each draft we sift through the CBS rankings of the top 1,000 eligible players to find the best names. Some of them are nicknames that have stuck hard, so hard that no one actually knows the prospect’s real name. But for the most part, what you see here is realĀ and spectacular.

The majority of the names listed below will either become UDFAs and you’ll never hear from them again, or they’ll be late-round picks and you’ll never hear from them again. So let’s give them their time to shine.

Presented now with minimal and sporadic commentary, the top 43 names of the 2014 draft class. Barkevious Mingo is the defending champion from 2013, with Bacarri Rambo (or “Goo Fudge” if you prefer) a close second.

1. HaHa Clinton-Dix…Yes, “Haha” is technically a nickhame, but he refuses to be called anything else. And that makes him the best.

2. Steele Divitto

3. Prince Shembo…Forever on a quest for Jasmine.

4. Xavier Su’a-Filo

5. IK Enemkpali

6. Darqueze Dennard

7. Cyrus Kouandjio

8. Jace Amaro

9. Louchiez Purifoy

10. Yawin Smallwood

11. Bashaud Breeland…”Breeland” sounds like a gloriously delicious place.

12. Dakota Dozier…The most football name ever since Mack Strong.

13. Ego Ferguson…Red flagged for character concerns.

14. Marqueston Huff

15. Devekeyan Lattimore

16. Bene Benwikere…Somewhere there’s a Bene Benbenere

17. Eathyn Manumaleuna

18. Storm Johnson…Wolverine is eligible next year.

19. Boseko Lokombo

20. Najja Johnson

21. Daytawion Lowe

22. Jaz Reynolds…Rock Reynolds is his uncle.

23. Zurlon Tipton

24. Roosevelt Nix…Only two letters away from being two presidents.

25. Brendon Bigelow…BAM BAM!

26. Vintavious Cooper

27. Seantavious Jones…brb, going to change my name to Seantavious Tomlinson

28. Ja-Mes Logan

29. Dontavis Sapp

30. Jestin Love…A lot of pickup attempts have failed here when they reach the “what’s your name?” stage (baby, I’m Jestin Love).

31. Bookie Sneed

32. Ricky Tjong-A-Tjoe

33. Kjelby Oiland

34. Nexon Dorvilus

35. Quandon Christian

36. Qua Cox

37. Mycal Swaim

38. Arryn Chenault

39. De’Von Flournoy

38. Senorise Perry

39. Nosa Eguae

40. Sammy Seamster

41. Zico Pasut

42. Ebo Makinde

43. Lacolton Bester