Archive for the ‘2013 Draft’ Category

Broncos to sign Shaun Phillips

Arizona Cardinals v San Diego Chargers

The Denver Broncos have agreed to sign linebacker Shaun Phillips.

Read the rest of this entry »

2013 NFL DraftThe NFL Draft has its good moments. Kids who’ve worked incredibly hard for free in the gulag known as the NCAA are rewarded with guaranteed money and a chance to make a good living as a professional football player.  Kids who’ve overcome family issues and “you’re too small!” epithets from bitter coaches can celebrate making it in front of the world. The night is for them.

For fans of certain teams, the draft is an excuse to lose it over players they’ve seen on Youtube a couple times. All caps non sequitur on twitter, angry texts to confused friends who don’t follow the NFL, a 1,000 word screed on a message board frequented by 13% of Western New York’s prison population — the gamut of negativity. As E.J. Manuel emotionally talked about his mom’s battle with cancer, I was one of those guys. The NFL Draft has its terrible moments. Mainly because of people like me. And this guy. Read the rest of this entry »

2013 NFL Combine

It was originally reported that Geno Smith would leave New York after being passed over in Thursday’s first round of the draft, but Adam Schefter tweeted this on Friday morning…

Read the rest of this entry »


I’m 87% sure those abs are fake

The first round of the 2013 NFL Draft happened on Thursday night, and it was a relatively interesting (and overblown) affair.

  • Manti Te’o and Geno Smith went undrafted (Smith reportedly left town, thus missing out on the continental breakfast he was promised at the local Hampton Inn).
  • Joe Namath made Phil Simms bathe in his hungry/liquor breath.
  • When the Bills drafted QB E.J. Manuel, the entire city of Buffalo wept in unison, causing serious flash floods.
  • 32 young football stars shook Roger Goodell’s hand for an uncomfortably long time.

Read the rest of this entry »

Geno Smith is going home

2013 NFL Draft

Geno during happier times.

Only one Quarterback was taken in the first round, and it wasn’t Geno Smith.

The Bills–like they are prone to do–shocked most observers when they selected Florida State’s E.J Manuel with the 16th pick.

ESPN reports the West Virginia QB isn’t coming back for day two. In fact he’s leaving New York entirely. Aaron Rodgers, who endured a long wait back in 2005, tweeted words of encouragement to Smith.

Teams in the second round that could target Smith include the Eagles at pick 35, Arizona at pick 38, the Jets right after and Oakland at pick 42.



For some, it’s an exciting way to keep sports interesting while also adding an element of danger to their otherwise boring and empty lives (it’s either gamble or make the transition from canned to deviled ham).

For others, it’s a crippling addiction that manifests itself in the form of wagering rent money on Peyton Manning’s ability to throw a football, or Mark Sanchez’s ability to be so incredibly mediocre that you can pretty much put all of your food money on black (“black” being Sanchez doing something hilariously goofy that will no doubt cost the Jets a football game).

We invite those of you that don’t have a degenerate gambling problem and have also had their fill of deviled ham to gamble with us during the first round of the NFL draft.

What else are you going do on a Thursday night? Be a responsible and functioning member of society? I didn’t think so.


Read the rest of this entry »

Wait, what?

Wait, what?

The NFL draft comes your way this week, meaning 254 lucky players will have their names called and get the opportunity to shake the hand of Roger Goodell while posing with a blank jersey. There are 119 Division I football teams in the NCAA, which means there are over 10,000 college football players out there, which means there are roughly 20,000 parents responsible for naming children, which means there are hundreds of opportunities for there to be kids born with names that are fun to read and say out loud.

Like many things in life, finding fun names is ultimately a numbers game, and nothing in sports can compare to the number of prospects entered into the NFL Draft. Yours truly scoured the Top-1,000 athletes that have declared themselves draft eligible and whittled it down to the Top 100 Names Entered in the 2013 NFL Draft.

This year’s list is organized in order of which fictional Key & Peele “East/West College Bowl” player they resemble best. If you aren’t familiar with the sketch, enjoy the video and join me after the jump for the countdown.

Read the rest of this entry »