We are so close!
The NFL regular season starts next week, and I’m overwhelmed with feelings. Well, just two feelings: relief and fury.
I’m relieved that I can stop drowning in a sea of team previews, scouting reports and lurid tales of Detroit Lions operating motor vehicles while under the influence of turpentine (tough times in Detroit when a man can’t even afford a 40 of OE).
I’m infuriated that, although I did hours upon hours of pre-season NFL research, I still soiled the bed at my fantasy football draft. I auto-drafted without pre-ranking players, so I may as well have just never joined a league and instead lit a 20 dollar bill (the buy-in) on fire, so I could use it to ignite a fine Cuban cigar. At least that would have made me feel classy.
Maybe I’m just not meant to be a fantasy football champion. You know, me with a fantasy football team is a little like the mule with a spinning wheel…
Anyway, enjoy these “hilarious” picture captions. I’ll be over in the corner, lying in the fetal position, weeping openly (my only QB is Andy Dalton and I have a thousand WRs).