Archive for the ‘Buffalo Bills’ Category

What Sam taught me

Nine punts in I was ready to write a different column. Sam Bradford was playing terrible. That wasn’t exactly breaking news but as Bills fans continued to pray for a Quarterback that didn’t induce nausea it was worth noting where the Rams stood.

They have their guy. By default really. Faced with the prospect of cutting bait with Bradford and drafting RGIII to lead their franchise out of the abyss, Jeff Fisher traded the pick. Bradford or bust. Read the rest of this entry »

The weather was perfect.

Faced with what was supposed to be the most unwatchable game of the weekend — Jets/Cardinals, never forget — the forecast called for wet and dreary conditions. The crowd at the Ralph was nonplussed. Well those that showed up were. In an incredible display of self-restraint, a lot of season ticket holders stayed home today. Those that did show were treated to a rarity in the Chan Gailey era — a Buffalo win. Rather than chronicle the Bills performance in usual format, I went a different route this week. Read the rest of this entry »

For the those of you insane enough to trust Ryan Fitzpatrick or Chan Gailey at this point in the season, some bad news is breaking out of Ralph Wilson Stadium. Newly acquired DE Jason Babin will get the start for the Jaguars.

To make matters worse for the Bills offense, Donald Jones has been scratched because of a calf injury. In his place, T.J Graham will get the start while oft-injured Marcus Easley is active.

No distance left to run

It appears we’ve come to the end.

The sight of Chan Gailey and Ryan Fitzpatrick makes me ill. I miss Brian Moorman. Where’s C.J? Stevie Johnson deserves better. The defense showed up. Our head coach is terrible.

I feel like I’ve written those things before. The thing about supporting this team, this bunch of hard-working, blue collar guys (Rich Gannon is a fucking horrible announcer), is expectations. I lied to myself again, for the millionth time. They’ll beat a shoddy Indianapolis team. They’ll come home and destroy Chad Henne and the Jacksonville Jaguars. I looked in the face of reality and paid no mind. For that I can only blame myself. Read the rest of this entry »

For fantasy purposes, the Bills’ run defense has been a pungent running back potpourri, as it’s capable of taking the most vile smelling beasts and turning them into clean cut, upstanding individuals who contribute to our fantasy society.

The formula was simple, as if you answered yes to the two questions below, fun times would follow:

1. Do you have a running back on your fantasy team?

2. Is he playing the Buffalo Bills?

And it still is simple, just not as simple. Which makes it hard, but not very hard.

Confusing, yes. Allow me to explain.

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The lovely folks at Score Digital let me watch games on the weekends. Not even that, they pay me for it. For that I’m permanently indebted. This will never happen again. I assume Sal Paolantonio doesn’t give a fuck about said perks as he butters his bagels at Lincoln Financial Field.

With that said, I miss watching Bills games at bars. I miss watching games with a bunch of overgrown children who haven’t realized Dan Marino is an assclown. Straight up, Marino is Bashar Hafez al-Assad. Now that you’ve Googled said name and filed several justified complaints — I reached too far– let’s get to to the game.

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Pictured: The entire Bills offense

Tonight’s game between the Dolphins and Bills contains at least a modicum of meaning in reality, and great weight in our fantasy alter existence where Christmas gifts are purchased by taking money from friends. Holiday cheer indeed.

We’re especially hoping for two things to happen tonight: Reggie Bush should have a fun Thursday jog against a run defense that couldn’t stop a Pez dispenser with legs, and even though his matchup is much tougher, C.J. Spiller should thrive when he’s given far more opportunities with Fred Jackson out.

So we took the Madden 13 predictor machine for a spin, as is our usual Thursday custom. What happened next was both boring and predictable, all at the same time. Really, it was the worst kind of suck.

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