Archive for the ‘Colin Kaepernick’ Category

Behind a few dozen computers, Jon Gruden sits in his chair with neatly organized stacks of paper to each side of him. The former Super Bowl-winning head coach is sitting in between an esteemed draft guru, Mel Kiper Jr., and a legendary ESPN sports show host, Chris Berman. He probably has more football knowledge than the two combined, but he’s been forced to pare it down to only a dozen words for his viewers (and colleagues) to understand during the 2011 draft.

It’s the San Francisco 49ers’ choice now and Dwight Clark, a receiver famed for “The Catch”, walks across the platform to announce it. More than 30 years earlier, he was the first player selected in the 10th round of the 1979 draft, but he worked his way up to become one of the most memorable pass-catchers in NFL history.

“With pick No. 36 in the 2011 NFL draft, the San Francisco 49ers select Colin Kaepernick, quarterback, Nevada,” Clark announced.

Gruden turned around, smiled and rubbed his hands together. He waited for Kiper to finish an evaluation of the signal-caller, which consisted of the usual scouting terminology that’s seemingly applied to every other “unorthodox” and “developmental” quarterback. Now it was Gruden’s turn.

“I think you need a guy that can create plays with his legs. This is a legitimate dual-threat. He can run and throw. I do think he needs development. He hasn’t been underneath the center. He’s been in that Pistol offense,” Gruden said. “The more you watch Nevada, Reno, the more you want to put their offense in. I mean, they shred people. That’s a heck of an offense.”

Heck of an offense, indeed.

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In his two years as an NFL head coach, Jim Harbaugh has yet to make a mistake. He inherited a 6-10 team from Mike Singletary, and promptly spun that into a 13-3 squad that made it to overtime of the NFC championship game in 2012. Harbaugh has been lauded for the way he treats players, conducts practices, and prepares his team each week. He’s a guru when it comes to play design, as San Francisco’s offense always seems to keep the defense guessing.

So when Harbaugh opted to stay with Colin Kaepernick’s “hot hand” after a Week 11 win over Chicago instead of returning to the incumbent Alex Smith, Niners fans (myself included) should have given him the benefit of the doubt.

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Despite his brilliance and the fact that he’s led an offense to within a win of a championship in only his 10th start, there are still legitimate long-term questions about Colin Kaepernick. Can he stay healthy? Can the pistol and/or read option offense lead to sustained success? Grand questions with no immediate answers, the same grandeur which greets every QB who can even remotely run.

But one question has already been answered definitively: Colin Kaepernick is not a CEO. Tats are for the boys in San Quentin, and for losers, because quarterbacks are supposed to be pristine canvases of virtue.

Now Kaepertat.com has relegated David Whiteley to various bathing stations, where he continually washes the grease of this horrible world from his body.

Yes, that’s a real thing now. In yet another example that the Internet will provide all living souls with anything they desire, there’s a website where you can purchase fake replicas of Kaep’s ink.

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Whoa now, John, let’s ease up a little there. We know he’s fast, we know the Falcons most likely, almost definitely won’t stop him, and we know that Kaepernick just set the quarterback single-game rushing record with 181 yards against the Packers, including a season long 56-yard run. But we can’t let the Kaep pain train jump the shark quite yet by putting his name in the same sentence as the fastest man in the world.

Just stick to your usual nuggets of wisdom in which you tell us that the team with the most points wins the game. Alright, John? Alright.

When it was announced that Colin Kaepernick would be the 49ers’ starting quarterback for the remainder of the regular season even after Alex Smith recovered from his concussion, water coolers and coffee makers everywhere were pissed. They knew what was coming: endless discussion of a question that had no immediate answer.

Every quarterback decision is colored in only black or white, and those who sided with Team Alex (only slightly less hip than Team Edward) talked at length about fearing the unknown. They warned us of the forthcoming rookie-pocalypse, as Kaepernick was essentially still a rookie in terms of his game experience. They preferred steady over flashy, chill over swag, and reliable over risky.

In truth, there was often a far more basic human element at play. There’s still a timeless battle between people and change.

So, where you at now, Kaepernick haters?

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Can someone please ask him when the world ends? Screw the Mayans. (#inKaepwetrust)

Thanks, Bryan Armen Graham

When Bill Belichick stares deep into the soul of a young quarterback, he often extracts the very core of his enemy’s being. He starts with his subject’s nervous system, making him crumble on command. He focuses hard, closing his eyes and imagining that time he lost in Red Rover as a child. He calls this the pray mantis technique, and it usually works on standard, less nimble young arms (see: Andrew Luck and Jake Locker earlier this year).

But he has a nemesis, because every villain does. It is the leggy, long-striding and powerful quarterback. He who runs, or even gallops.

Colin Kaepernick is Belichick’s Bane today. So set aside whatever apprehension you may have with a rookie QB playing in a major primetime game with playoff implications, and start him. If the Patriots’ recent history against running quarterbacks repeats itself, this could be a highly profitable day.

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