I’d like to begin this day by asking you to close your eyes. Don’t worry, this won’t get weird.
The holiday season is very much upon us, and with that comes the gluttonous purchase of toys which will be used twice, or maybe seven times. So, keep those eyelids shut, and picture the best toy you ever unwrapped on a bright, glistening Christmas morning. This will, of course, vary depending on your age and gender. The two women who regularly read a fantasy football blog may fondly remember a Cabbage Patch doll of some kind. And the boys — especially those who live here in the great nation of Canada with its inflatable beavers — will gleefully recall a tabletop hockey game sitting under the tree. Ho boy, hours of fun awaited.
I craved destruction, because I was sort of screwed up like that. So although I once received the aforementioned tabletop hockey game, my all-time favorite gift promoted vehicle crashing and limb ripping. Yeah, The Incredible Crash Test Dummies are still the best.
At the time I had no idea that one of my beloved childhood toys would later move on to star at Arkansas, and then get drafted by the Raiders. It’s remarkable, really, how fast Darren McFadden can run after I repeatedly crashed him into walls, threw him down stairs, and dropped him from balconies. But there he is, running and juking, and making tacklers miss.
He still hasn’t fixed that whole breaking bit though.
