Archive for the ‘Draft prep’ Category

The Top-100 2013 NFL draft eligible names

Posted by Archi Zuber under 2013 Draft, 2013 NFL draft, Draft prep, Lists, Satire on Apr 23, 2013

Wait, what?

Wait, what?

The NFL draft comes your way this week, meaning 254 lucky players will have their names called and get the opportunity to shake the hand of Roger Goodell while posing with a blank jersey. There are 119 Division I football teams in the NCAA, which means there are over 10,000 college football players out there, which means there are roughly 20,000 parents responsible for naming children, which means there are hundreds of opportunities for there to be kids born with names that are fun to read and say out loud.

Like many things in life, finding fun names is ultimately a numbers game, and nothing in sports can compare to the number of prospects entered into the NFL Draft. Yours truly scoured the Top-1,000 athletes that have declared themselves draft eligible and whittled it down to the Top 100 Names Entered in the 2013 NFL Draft.

This year’s list is organized in order of which fictional Key & Peele “East/West College Bowl” player they resemble best. If you aren’t familiar with the sketch, enjoy the video and join me after the jump for the countdown.

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A draft review: Is taking Aaron Rodgers with the first overall pick a good strategy?

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Aaron Rodgers, Draft prep, Green Bay Packers on Aug 30, 2012

I now have to trust this man, and I will therefore soon hate this man.

The true source of fantasy football addiction/obsession/infatuation isn’t the monetary winnings, or even the convenient excuse to research random stuff that the normal human mind wouldn’t consider, although the pull is quite strong there. No, ripping on your friends and beating Jim from accounting — that guy with the strange accent who didn’t return your stapler — is the real fun.

Thus, we also get great joy out of some harmless jabs that don’t involve mothers. So why don’t you join me as I insult my co-workers? You can rip me too. It’ll be great fun.

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Russell Wilson is the perfect sleeper quarterback

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Draft prep, Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks on Aug 27, 2012

Are you rolling with the quarterback strategy this year, and gunning for one of the top passers in the opening rounds while being satisfied with a risk and a question mark or three at the running back position? Are you infatuated with Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, or Drew Brees, and have posters of them on your ceiling so they’re the first thing you see upon waking up every morning?

If you answered yes to either of the questions above, I suggest that you start getting friendly with Russell Wilson quickly. Go buy him a bouquet of flowers right now, or maybe even a slow Loris, complete with a tiny umbrella. Best gift ever.

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The Maurice Jones-Drew draft day problem

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Draft prep, Fantasy, Maurice Jones-Drew on Aug 22, 2012

Maurice Jones-Drew hates you. He’s never met you, but he hates you. If you own a Wookie, he’ll squish it. If you get in a fight with a bear, he’ll pour honey on you.

These are not known facts, and are instead assumptions based on his current behavior. Jones-Drew is an obsessed fantasy player who hosts a fantasy radio show on Sirius/XM, and long before his holdout began he took himself first overall in an early draft. So surely his priorities are aligned correctly, and he wouldn’t jeopardize his own fantasy season, right?

Dammit, MJD. You were one of the four sure things at an absurdly unstable position. Now you’re becoming one of them, the concerning names who are enticing for many reasons, but alarming for many more.

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How to handle the Adrian Peterson problem

Posted by Sean Tomlinson under Adrian Peterson, Draft prep, Minnesota Vikings on Aug 21, 2012

When Adrian Peterson is healthy, he’s the best running back in the NFL.

But he’s not healthy.

Adrian Peterson has a rare combination of strength and speed, and can both bowl you over and juke you to the ground.

But he tore his ACL in the final game last year, and at this point you’re not sure if he can be trusted to carry your groceries up a set of stairs, let alone anchor your fantasy backfield.

Adrian Peterson says he’s fine, though, and he’s been back at practice and working out in full pads for over a week now without a setback of any kind.

But he won’t play in a pre-season game, meaning his first game action since tearing apart his knee will come in an environment with the intensity heightened, and the opposition more motivated to see if he really has healed.

This is the kind of internal battle happening right now wherever fantasy draft prep is taking place, whether it’s a kitchen table, on public transit, or a treehouse. There’s optimism growing quickly around Peterson, even if the “buts” are still making a strong case. To a lesser extent the same discussion surrounds Jamaal Charles, but the Chiefs running back has quieted concerns by participating in both of his team’s pre-season games, and taking hits directly to his own injured knee.

The difference, however, is that Charles tore his ACL way back in Week 2 of last year, giving him a three-month head start in his recovery before the 2011 season even ended. Peterson, meanwhile, waited until the regular-season finale to do his own shredding, leaving potential fantasy owners to wait, hope, and maybe eventually guess.

So what should you do with Peterson? Nothing, because at the position where he’s currently being drafted, there’s nothing you can do. Just have faith, and hope history repeats itself (in a good way).

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