Normally, I’d try to avoid this, and I’d just allow the Internet to run its natural course, the same one that lasted about 48 hours with Morganing. And the same one that finally reached its logical conclusion when a weatherman Tebowed in a hurricane.
But, like the planking attempt that ended with some girl wearing an oven as a hat, I’m genuinely concerned for the public’s safety and well being if Deckering grows into a thing. Yes, the seed for Decerking — a reference to Eric Decker’s phantom trip over the 40-yard line last night when no one was within, like, nine miles — has been planted.
First, there was this…
That’s tame enough in its humor, and innocent enough in its stupidity. Therefore, it’s an Internet meme, no more compelling than, I dunno, the 19 Romney Big Bird accounts that sprouted mere moments after the Republican presidential candidate’s reference to the giant yellow Sesame Street resident.
But no, it goes deeper than that.
You see, since Deckering is the act of tripping and falling randomly, aging and likely brittle old men are already putting themselves in danger. See: the second Deckering attempt below that amounts to little more than an ass flop.
Next senior citizens who seek coolness will give Deckering a spin, bringing danger to grocery stores and coffee shops nationwide, where hot liquid can be spilled and skin will be burnt. Together, we can stop this.