Archive for the ‘Gambling’ Category

Sorry, Bills fans. Vegas doesn't think signing this man will give you more than seven wins.

Here at GLS, we fully support your unwavering mission to lose money while also gaining weight on Sundays. We’ve supplied you with addiction aiders for the other days of the week like the Tim Tebow press conference props sheet, and the opportunity to wager on Madonna’s fishnet stockings.

But since it’s never too early to begin thinking about losing money on football, Cantor Gaming released its over/under win totals today. They’re the first major sports book to give their official odds for each team’s win column in the 2012 season, and their numbers are sure to bring both anger and elation to NFL land.

They’re listed below, but first here’s a few observations/quick rants:

• Buffalo is depressing enough in December. After the optimism that the Bills have built following their free agency spending and successful draft, Cleveland may become a more appealing tourist destination if the Bills don’t at least meet the bar of seven wins projected here, and improve on their record last year. At least Cleveland leads the nation in drifters.
• The talent is certainly still there in New Orleans, but hitting that over on 10 wins feels like it’ll be a monumental task under two interim head coaches. But hey, they don’t play the games, so whatever. Amirite?
• The 2011 Super Bowl champion Giants needed to claw into the playoffs, so it’s quite appropriate that they’re projected at nearly the exact same win total for 2012.
• Given the glowing reports about Peyton Manning’s arm, 9.5 suddenly seems a little low. Drooling over quarterbacks wearing shorts in May has never steered a degenerate in the wrong direction before.
• Three of the worst teams in the league last year that held prime real estate at the top of the draft (Colts, Browns, Jaguars) are projected at 5.5. They’ll therefore improve only marginally, or not at all.

Green Bay Packers

Over 12 wins -125
Under 12 wins -105

New England Patriots

Over 12 wins -120
Under 12 wins -110

Houston Texans

Over 10 wins -140
Under 10 wins +110

Philadelphia Eagles

Over 10 wins -135
Under 10 wins +105

New Orleans Saints

Over 10 wins -125
Under 10 wins -105

Pittsburgh Steelers

Over 10 wins -125
Under 10 wins -105

Baltimore Ravens

Over 10 wins -110
Under 10 wins -120

San Francisco 49ers

Over 10 wins +105
Under 10 wins -135

Denver Broncos

Over 9.5 wins -110
Under 9.5 wins -120

New York Giants

Over 9.5 wins -110
Under 9.5 wins -120

Detroit Lions

Over 9.5 wins +105
Under 9.5 wins -135

San Diego Chargers

Over 9 wins -130
Under 9 wins Even

Atlanta Falcons

Over 9 wins +105
Under 9 wins -135

Chicago Bears

Over 8.5 wins -135
Under 8.5 wins +105

Dallas Cowboys

Over 8.5 wins -125
Under 8.5 wins -105

New York Jets

Over 8.5 wins -115
Under 8.5 wins -115

Kansas City Chiefs

Over 8 wins -120
Under 8 wins -110

Cincinnati Bengals

Over 7.5 wins -130
Under 7.5 wins Even

Carolina Panthers

Over 7.5 wins -115
Under 7.5 wins -115

Miami Dolphins

Over 7.5 wins -110
Under 7.5 wins -120

Tennessee Titans

Over 7 wins -130
Under 7 wins Even

Buffalo Bills

Over 7 wins -110
Under 7 wins -120

Seattle Seahawks

Over 7 wins -110
Under 7 wins -120

Oakland Raiders

Over 7 wins -110
Under 7 wins -120

Arizona Cardinals

Over 7 wins -110
Under 7 wins -120

Washington Redskins

Over 6.5 wins Even
Under 6.5 wins -130

St. Louis Rams

Over 6 wins -110
Under 6 wins -120

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Over 6 wins -110
Under 6 wins -120

Minnesota Vikings

Over 6 wins Even
Under 6 wins -130

Cleveland Browns

Over 5.5 wins Even
Under 5.5 wins -130

Indianapolis Colts

Over 5.5 wins +105
Under 5.5 wins -135

Jacksonville Jaguars

Over 5.5 wins +105
Under 5.5 wins -135

Of course you can already bet on the pass distribution between the Jets’ quarterbacks on BoDog.ca.

Mark Sanchez is a longshot here, but Tim Tebow will easily be targeted in Tony Sparano’s wildcat schemes. Last year before he became Denver’s starting QB Tebow was catching passes during a pre-game warm-up, and he was later used as a decoy at wideout.

The over/under for Tebow’s touchdown passes is set at one, while his total rushing TDs is at four. There are also odds for whether or not he’ll start a game (Yes: -150, No: +110).

When Manning looks to the heavens in Denver, his face glows too.

I’m not sure what’s more entertaining about BoDog.ca‘s odds related to today’s Peyton Manning apocalypse in which he quite literally switched horses, or at least horse logos.

I’m highly trained in the fine art of Internet trolling, and my background in that prestigious area tells me that any mention of Tim Tebow’s name makes people dive into their computer screens. That’s straight science, although we don’t recommend it because your IT department will be pissed.

Our favorite gambling website has odds on the next city where Tebow will play his football and pretend to be an NFL quarterback, in addition to some amusing miscellaneous items regarding Manning. First, the Tebow odds:

With Jacksonville the favorite and Cleveland the longshot, BoDog’s layout nearly matches my mildly educated guesses perfectly. Mark it down, because on March 19, 2012, I sort of knew what I was talking about. Hooray?

BoDog also asked if Tebow will be a starting quarterback in Week 1 next fall (Yes: even, No: -140).

Then they dug into the Manning fun, including the odds on if he’ll be the 2012 comeback player of the year (Yes: even), and if he’ll be next year’s MVP (Yes: +700). But trying to guess his overall numbers in the Denver offense is the true challenge, and it’s difficult after Manning’s unique and rare injury, and his absence from competitive football for a full season.

That yardage feels obese as we sit here in mid-March with varying confidence about Manning’s injury and recovery, and how he’ll gel with the surrounding offensive pieces in Denver.

But let’s assume hypothetically that Manning is at least 80 percent in September. He averaged 4,327.8 passing yards per year over his last five seasons in Indianapolis, which is the kind of torrid pace that an elite quarterback can sustain no matter who’s on the other end of his throws.

You’re forgiven if you want to be cautious about the Denver offense and take the under on Manning’s yardage. But his completion percentage is about accuracy, and not solely arm strength, so this should be a much easier decision…

Over that same five-year stretch in Indy, Manning completed 66.5 percent of his passes, and his percentage has only dipped below 65 in a season four times during his 13-year career. All four of those poor seasons by Manning’s lofty standards came in his first four years as a pro.

If you’re in an especially degenerate mood you can also wager on whether or not the Broncos will met the Giants and Peyton’s brother in the 2013 Super Bowl (Yes: +5000).

Photoshop magic featuring Manning gazing up into the sunlight like the new Broncos God he is courtesy of our very own Scott Lewis.

In what’s now a yearly March tradition, EA is letting fans vote to determine which player they’d like to be featured on the cover of Madden ’13 and followed by a vicious, career-crippling plague in the upcoming season. With great power comes great responsibility, and last year was the first time fans were saddled with the daunting task of ruining an innocent man’s life.

Faced with an internal battle between the instinct to vote for their favorite player and the knowledge that they would then be cursing said player and by extension the team they support, fans chose wisely and selected Peyton Hillis. Making Hillis the sacrificial lamb was an easy decision: Cleveland is now immune to the emotions that accompany crushing failure anyway, and he was due to regress swiftly back to the mean after his 1,177 rushing yards in 2010 when he had a combined 397 yards in the previous two seasons.

Hillis then did more than just fall off a cliff lined with jagged rocks after playing in just 10 games due to various injuries, and finishing with 587 yards on a meager 3.6 yards per carry. He also became a lazy jerk.

So good choice, Internet.

Voting to narrow down the initial field of 64 to 32 ends in eight days, and Tim Tebow is the heavily-favored chalk pick to win it all. And it’s not even close.

From BoDog.ca, which likely also has odds on my lunch selections for this week:

Tim Tebow (DEN): 5/1
Cam Newton (CAR): 13/2
Rob Gronkowski (NE): 13/2
Victor Cruz (NYG): 12/1
Calvin Johnson (DET): 18/1
Arian Foster (HOU): 18/1
Jason Pierre-Paul (NYG): 20/1
Ray Rice (BAL): 20/1
Clay Matthews (GB): 20/1
Michael Vick (PHI): 25/1
LeSean McCoy (PHI): 25/1
Patrick Willis (SF): 25/1
Jimmy Graham (NO): 30/1
Darrelle Revis (NYJ): 30/1
Chris Johnson (TEN): 30/1
Matt Forte (CHI): 30/1
A.J. Green (CIN): 30/1
Marshawn Lynch (SEA): 30/1
Drew Brees (NO): 30/1
Von Miller (DEN): 30/1
Jared Allen (MIN): 30/1
Andre Johnson (HOU): 35/1
Demarcus Ware (DAL): 35/1
Julio Jones (ATL): 35/1
Maurice Jones-Drew (JAC): 35/1
Matthew Stafford (DET): 40/1
Troy Polamalu (PIT): 40/1
Brandon Marshall (MIA): 40/1
Antonio Gates (SD): 50/1
Ben Roethlisberger (PIT): 50/1
Wes Welker (NE): 50/1
Larry Fitzgerald (ARI): 50/1
Phillip Rivers (SD): 60/1
Terrell Suggs (BAL): 80/1
Percy Harvin (MIN): 80/1
Stevie Johnson (BUF): 100/1
Dwayne Bowe (KC): 100/1
Brian Orakpo (WAS): 100/1
Dwight Freeney (IND): 100/1
Field: 25/1

Now we just need to #FreeTebow, and make sure he’s a starting quarterback somewhere next fall if the Broncos sign Peyton Manning. But it would be pretty awesome/embarrassing to have a backup on the Madden cover for the first time in the game’s history.

We’ve received updated odds on where Peyton Manning will land next, courtesy of the guys at Bodog:

What team will Peyton Manning be a member of for game 1 of the 2013 regular season?
Miami Dolphins 2/1
Washington Redskins 13/4
Seattle Seahawks 7/2
Arizona Cardinals 7/2
New York Jets 21/4
Kansas City Chiefs 21/4

So the Dolphins continue to pick up steam while the Cardinals lose some momentum. It’s also a little surprising to see the Jets that low, because there’s been a lot of speculation coming out of New York. Right now, we’re convinced it’ll be Miami.

(Photoshopped picture via ManningtoJets.com)

For the rest of this week we’ll turn our attention to young men as they run, lift, and jump their way towards confirming whatever pre-conceived notions we have about their football talent and overall skillset.

This is otherwise known as the Scouting Combine, a series of events that are important, but not nearly as important as you’ll be led to believe. The annual scrutiny of the combine is generated by both our maniacal draft obsession, and the fact that it’s still  February and we still need something to talk about, so we’ll settle for prospects running in straight lines and lifting dead weight.

But there’s one event that’s always the highlight of the underwear Olympics: Rich Eisen’s 40-yard dash. It’s now possible to bet on the likelihood of Jeremy Lin going out on a date with Kim Kardashian, so of course there are also props for Eisen’s annual full-suit run.

The NFL Network host has been running the standard speed-testing sprint since 2005, never breaking six seconds. Over at the National Football Post our own Joe Fortenbaugh has listed Eisen’s times over the last seven years, which helps you gauge whether or not he’ll be able to stay under 6.165 seconds, which is the line set by BetOnline.com.

2011: 6.18
2010: 6.24
2009: 6.34
2008: 6.34
2007: 6.43
2006: 6.22
2005: 6.77

Last year may have been a personal best for Eisen, but there’s a strong stench of luck to that 6.18. The visual evidence from 2010 suggests that you’re still pretty safe taking the over…

Since there’s no other way to possibly make watching the combine all week exciting, there are pages on major betting sites like BoDog.ca and Bovada filled with odds for the best result in each event, and others that pit players against each other for wagers on who will have the best 40 time, the most bench press reps, etc.

Betting on the Scouting Combine is acceptable behavior, because we fully understand that both your football and gambling addiction need to be satisfied during these dark winter months when the fall seems like some far off dream.

But your one-year subscription to GLS will be revoked if you actually spend money on tickets to watch the Combine.

There are odds for that!

Will Randy Moss win NFL Comeback Player of the Year for the 2012 Regular Season?

Yes: 5/1

Who will sign Randy Moss next?

New England Patriots: 5/2

Chicago Bears: 7/2

Washington Redskins: 5/1

San Francisco 49ers: 5/1

New York Jets: 11/2

St. Louis Rams: 7/1

Dallas Cowboys: 10/1

Philadelphia Eagles: 10/1

If GLS was forced to bet here, we’d actually roll with the Rams, who need a receiver and have a new head coach who loves Moss. I don’t think the Patriots want to go down that path again, and I think the Niners learned their lesson with Braylon Edwards. The Jets and ‘Skins aren’t too far-fetched, but you’re getting better odds with St. Louis.

Oh, and the guys at Bodog also have a line for whether Albert Haynesworth will be on a roster to start 2012…

Will Albert Haynesworth play Week 1 of the 2012 Regular Season?

Yes +110

No -150

Nothing quite like betting on malcontents.

(Odds via Bodog.ca; Moss screenshot via CBS)